My Sweet Monster
by Kapootya
Summary: OOC, AU, lemons, Cannon couples. Edward is a martial arts fighter, a human, and just moved to Forks. Bella is a vampire within the Cullen family who just moved back to Forks from Italy. Lots of messed up scenarios and drama! Enjoy!
1. No more pretending

Please Note:

**Cullen Vampire Family includes**: Carlisle, Bella, Esme, Emmett, and Alice  
**Humans include**: Edward and the usual  
**Not 'Normals' include (AKA: Fighters)**: Edward, Karina, Lee, Anthony, Jesse, Jon, Boris  
**Volturi Vampire Clan includes**: Rosalie and the usual  
**  
Pairing of concentration:** Bella & Edward  
**Other Pairings (Not necessarily sexual) :** Bella & Emmett, Bella & Edward, Emmett & Rosalie, Jasper & Alice, Alice & Edward, Edward & O.C (Karina)  
**  
Narration**: After first chapter; it will jump around from Bella's and Edward's perspective. Will have a chapter or two eventually using Emmett's and Alice's PoV.  
**Setting**: 2002 - ; California, Italy, and Forks.  
**  
Extra/Warning**: This tests a lot of boundaries of society and will have a lot of radical point of views. It will eventually get very graphical and very emotional. I appreciate all polite, critical, or encouraging reviews and comments. It really does help in the writing process :) Please do not shy away from asking any questions, I will do my best to answer them.

**Story Dedicated to**: Sarah-Jess

* * *

Isabella Cullen sat in the right corner of a wide football-stadium sized ice-burg that floated west through the cold dark blue oceans waves. She lend against an erected ice mound, with her head pushed back.

She wore nothing but a black faded t-shirt and old raggedy jeans that were two sizes too big. Her pale white skin blended in with the ice and she looked like a corpse, waiting to have her remains eaten.

But she wasn't dead.

Not yet.

Not exactly.

Her deep fiery orange eyes stared out into the horizon where the distinction between water and sky became hazy. She didn't blink; her chest only rose slightly to indicate that she was breathing – sometimes.

She tipped her head upward and saw fragments of the celestial lights dancing about the sparkling stars.

An unnoticeable smile dared to escape her lips. At least she had something in common with nature. She could shine like that too.

The waves sang to her in a soft rhythmic tone, warning her of the danger of an approaching storm. She could hear the penguins 15 miles east and some type of whale feasting on plankton 2 miles under her.

She could also hear him finishing off his dinner.

She sighed a useless and pointless sigh and looked out into the horizon once more.

If her eyes were human, she would be poetic and say that there was no line between sky and water – and you could make it as you wished. You could be flying in the sky when you were really swimming in the water. And swim in the water when you were really flying in the sky. But she wasn't human, nor was she a poet.

She saw a disruption in the waves.

He was coming.

She usually saw and noticed what other people missed—she always saw what other humans missed.

She wasn't sure if she believed that vampires could be considered as 'people'. Vampires were monsters, and monsters weren't people. Only child murders, rapist, serial killers and such were referred to as monsters. The majority of the time they were right. They were vampires.

Bella heard a change in the rhythm of the waves. He was swimming quickly.

A sudden gust of wind blew her brown tangled web-like hair from their resting place on her shoulders. She took a deep breath, inhaling the scents the breeze brought to her. There were humans 23 miles away and Bella was felt her mouth begin to salivate with poison.

She was hungry.

She wasn't in control of herself yet.

"Fucking Aro." Bella whispered under her breath as she wiped the edge of her lips with the back of her hand – she had started to drool. She stopped breathing while the winds of the north danced elegantly around her as if they were confused by her very presence. She didn't belong in this world. She didn't belong in any world. She belonged in the graveyard, buried 6 feet under, since 1918.

Suddenly two large pale hands gripped the edge of the ice-berg in the middle and broke it in half. Bella was not in the least bit disturbed; she only rolled her eyes in response. The two hands disappeared again. She watched the other piece of the ice berg float away. And humans thought the ice-bergs were breaking because of global warming. Silly silly humans.

"So fragile." She whispered without moving her lips.

Moments later, out from the waters leaped a blurred figure that Bella didn't even bother looking at. It fell a few feet away from her.

It was a man, much like Bella with skin the color of pure white untouched snow. He had liquid golden eyes and a narrow ovular smooth face with a pointy chin. He was 6 and half feet tall and didn't have a shirt on. She noticed his defined chest muscles and round biceps, triceps, and everything in-between. It was as if he was a newly carved statue made out of the finest marble in the world. The outline of his jaw gave him a very mysterious quality and his bear like stance added an essence of predatorily instinct that he displayed.

He was a monster too.

He straightened his body out after securely landing on the ice. He turned to face Bella, not seeming to care that he was soaked and that the winds were showing no mercy. The water on his body turned into patches of crystallized ice. He simply brushed them off.

"Mmmm mmm mmm. Yummy little bear." He said in a deep and powerful voice. She doubted the bear was little.

He walked towards her slowly, at human pace, and sat beside her.

"I didn't think I'd break the Ice-berg." He continued speaking as he put his arm around Bella's strong unbreakable shoulders.

Bella turned to look up once more. The sky was beautiful. If only she could be marveled like the sky.

As a mysterious beauty.

She didn't say anything as her eyes traveled down from the sky towards his breathtakingly beautiful face. He was a beautiful monster.

"Hi." He said softly to her, nuzzling his head into the gap between her neck and shoulder. He didn't feel warm or cold to her. He was the same dead temperature as she was. There was no distinction, because there was nothing in existence colder than a vampire…

"Hi." She spoke loudly and clearly. Her voice was soft and angelic. It sang like holy music. It was the kind of voice that opera houses died to get, and the kind of voice that could hypnotize people with ravishing desire. It was the voice that could lour victims into a dark alley to be killed.

"Mmmm, I missed this." He said placing small kisses on her neck.

She didn't move.

He took a small bite at her neck, making sure his teeth were not glazed with lustful poison yet. She didn't respond.

He arched his back and moved his head up to look at her.

She was looking into the horizon.

One was the sky.

One was the ocean.

She breathed. It was a mistake; the winds still carried the smell of humans.

One was human.

One was monstrous.

"I hate when you get like this." He whispered, sitting up.

"Emmett?" She asked turning her head to meet his. "Why do you come to Italy?" She asked him, her voice showing no emotion but still did not lose its divine ring.

"Because the longer you stay in Italy the worse you come back."

"You shouldn't have come."

"Like hell, how the fuck was I suppose to know if you were dead or not?" His voice was filled with anger. Emmett was quick to feel and always demonstrated his emotions without thinking.

"Alice can't see me anymore?" Bella broke their gaze and looked away. Sadness tried to escape through her voice but failed. She still sounded bland.

"Bella, it's not your fault. Alice could see some foggy things, but nothing clear. There was no one there that she had an emotional connection with that was near you. It was hard for her." Emmett explained as he brushed her dark brown locks behind her ear. "Bella look at me."

She turned to look at him.

"Please don't be upset." He paused for a moment and then added, "Alice was able to see you coming back."

Bella nodded but it gave her no hope. Her expression remained blank.

"Please relax honey. You're home. Well almost home. We're moving to Forks next year. Freshmen all over again." He rolled his eyes. "Puberty!" He said as he dove back into the cavity of her neck to kiss and lick her.

She didn't move.

He knew she knew.

She knew he knew.

"Oh Bella." He whispered into her neck. "Please. Forgive me."

With one of her hands she pushed him off her forcefully. Emmett retrieved his arm from her shoulders and sat up once more staring at her.

"How long have you been fucking her?" She asked him, her voice once again hiding whatever she was feeling. Even she wasn't sure how she was feeling yet.

"A few years." Emmett replied truthfully.

"Each time you went to get me from Volturi?"

"Yes."

She let out another useless sigh. She wasn't sad because he was messing around with another vampire. She was sad because she did not feel anything that she should be. She didn't feel anything towards Emmett, when she kissed him, when he kissed her, when they touched; when they fucked…She could never look him in the eyes when they were fulfilling their lustful desires. She never moaned. She never said anything when he asked her what she wanted to do. She never said his name with any indication of pleasure.

She felt nothing. She was empty. She was just as cold on the inside as she was on the outside. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't feel anything towards anyone.

Just emptiness.

Blankness.

Nothingness.

And then sadness would come to her from being unable to feel anything. She would feel sad when she should be happy and sad when she should be furious. It was a depression. An inescapable depression. And most depression led to suicide. But no one would kill her.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asked while swiftly bringing her knees up to her chin.

"I don't know. It's hard. Between us. You know how it is. You had that thing with Jacob."

"Yea I guess so." She agreed with him. She didn't feel anything towards Jacob either.

She tried and tried. But felt nothing.

She leaned away from the wall of ice she that kept her sitting straight and scooted to the left of it, further away from Emmett. She laid on her back, staring up at natures frozen rainbow. Emmett mimicked her motions and laid beside her. Close enough to touch with effort, but far enough not to touch without an effort.

Always out of grasp.

The both stared at the celestial lights for hours; neither breathing, or moving, or blinking. Just looking.

"Do you love her?" She asked after hours of silence.

"Yes." He said without hesitation.

"Can I ask some things of you?" Bella turned her head on the slippery ice to look at him.

He turned his head to meet her gaze.

"What is it dearest?" He called her pet names out of habit. A 50 year relationship had habits that were hard to break.

"Can you promise me that the next time I go to Italy you will not follow me?"

"No."

"Please."

"Bella, Aro destroys you. Each time you go to him, you lose more and more of who you are. I don't even want you to go to him at all. I just want –"

She interrupted him. "He keeps me alive Emmett. I will go to him as long as he invites me and it's none of your god damn business how long I stay there." Her voice was harsh and loud. Finally some sort of emotion escaped her lips. But the emotion had no meaning. It was as worthless as sounding bland.

"Bull-fucking-shit Bella! You go to him to die!" Emmett growled.

She sighed, it was a human glitch that she carried with her into her death, and looked up again. "Please stop coming for me."

"Alice can't see you well anymore. How will we know if you're still alive?"

"Alive? Is that what we are Emmett? We are bloodsuckers, we are murderers, we are the undead, we are everything that alive is not."

"That's not true." He protested.

"Not true? Have you ever felt your own skin up against a humans'? Do you feel their warmth? They are warm creatures Em. They are alive. They have a heart that beats."

"Heart that beats has nothing to do with –"

She interrupted him again. "A heart means that they have the ability to love. All we do is lust and –"

He interrupted her. "You lust." He corrected her. After all, he was in love.

"Whatever." She looked away from him back up at sky.

Eventually he spoke again, "you could have resisted him. His food I mean."

"Yes and starve until I'd go mad and massacre half of Italy."

"Well Aro would have to allow you to be killed then."

"Hah, he would force feed me. He won't let me die till he finds someone who can break me."

"You should just stop going to him. Jeez, not that hard to tell the guy to shove it."

She didn't respond to Emmett and they laid together till daybreak without another word. As the sun rose in the horizon, fragments of rainbow bounced off their skins. They glittered in the sunlight. She turned her head to Emmett; he was looking up at the sky.

"What are you thinking about?" Bella asked.

"Rosalie." He answered.

"Tell me, what is she like?"

Emmett turned his head to look at her. "Different." He answered.

Bella looked away from him, what the sun did to his skin irritated her because it meant that it was happening to her too. It was proof that she wasn't human. She was different.

She was the sky.

They were the ocean.

Bella breathed in. The smell of human wasn't in the air anymore. Only Emmett, marine mammals, and fish.

"Different from me?" She asked him suddenly.

"Everyone is different from you." He replied still staring at her. "Rosalie is special in her own way, just as you're special in your own way."

Bella shook her head; she didn't like his response.

"What is making love like?" She asked him.

He cleared his throat. "It's wonderful. The way she moans my name. The way her skin feels against mine. The way we kiss. I have never felt a kiss so powerful and intense. It's all…it's magical." He chuckled at himself.

Bella pressed her lips tightly together.

They remained quiet till the sunset few hours later and the celestial lights over powered the skies once more.

Bella preferred the sky to shine and sparkle instead of her own body.

Emmett got up and offered his hand to her. "Shall we head back?"

Bella sat up slowly ignoring his helpful gesture, and raised herself to her feet gracefully. "I suppose." She fixed her hair that had frozen in its place when she was laying on the ice. "Can you grant me another favor?" She asked turning to him as her fingers finished running through her hair.

"I never said I'd grant you the first."

"You will…but can you ask Carlisle to register us as brother and sister?"

"So we're over?"

"Yes. No more pretending."

"Race you." Emmett said.

They both dove into the water like first class Olympic champions and swam like sharks through the water.

* * *

Thank you for reading! I really appreciate it!

Let me know what you guys think :)


	2. Fluffy

3 years later

**Edward PoV: **

I limped out of my room feeling groggier than I did the day after my 16th birthday. At least I woke up in my house instead of the hospital this time. Although the feeling of burning fire in my shoulder told me that I probably should be in the hospital. I tried to rub my shoulder but the movement of lifting my hand caused me to inhale sharply in pain.

_Not worth it. _

I lowered my hand and let it run across my naked chest and stomach. I felt incredible amounts of pain from just grazing my fingertips on my body. I refused to look down at the damage. I didn't feel wet blood and that was a good indication that I would survive without the trip to the hospital.

_I need painkillers. _

I stopped and stared at the stairs. I debated on going back into my room, but my stomach growled. I was hungry. My left leg didn't hold up my weight as well as it should have so I took carefully measured steps. All my muscles tightened and I felt incomprehensibly stiff as I climbed down the steps with the assistance of the railing. I couldn't wait till the pills numbed the pain. I was getting annoyed.

The stairs squeaked protestingly under my weight.

I knew how to climb them silently, but my body was too sore and I was too dazed to care. I looked down and debated on tumbling down the rest of stairs…it might be less painful that way.

"EDWARD!!" A female voice squealed from the kitchen.

_Fuck…_

She must have heard me coming.

_Stupid fucking stairs. _

_Stupid fucking body. _

_Stupid fucking leg._

_Stupid fucking shoulder. _

_Stupid stupid stupid. _

I grunted and straightened out my posture, I was walking down the stairs like a 90 year old man. I couldn't let my mother see how much pain I was really in. I jumped the last 8 steps and landed smoothly with all my weight on my right foot, although to her it seemed as though I landed on both.

"Good morning mom." I said to her with a huge, fake, smile on my face.

"What kind of morning? It's 6 in the evening!" She tossed one of my T shirts at me, and I put it on obediently. My arm jolted with electric pain as I raised it over my head and my shoulder gave a soft crack that Renee either didn't hear or pretended not to.

I kept a straight emotionless façade up just for her.

It was killing me.

_I just want food… _

Every prisoner was giving a last meal. I wanted my last meal before my death sentence.

"What time did you get home last night?" She asked after I put on the cotton plan white t-shirt. I looked down just in time to catch a view of my stomach.

_God damn. _

I had a huge black and blue staring from under my navel spreading out to my hips. It looked as though someone took a metal baseball bat and repeatedly hit me.

_Not like that never happened. _

"2." I said.

If I came home midnight, 6 in the morning, 3 in the morning, or the next day, I always said 2. I didn't know why I continued to say it after all these years. It was just a habit I formed. Renee's imaginary curfew was 2, so I always said 2; even when I no longer had a curfew. It's not like she didn't know where to find me; in an abandoned warehouse, jail, principal's office, gym, park or my favorite; the abandoned army base an hour away.

_God, I'm going to miss that place. _

Her small thin hands grabbed my shoulders and she pulled me down to plant kisses all over the left side of my face.

"Renee." I protested but she only slapped me playfully across my chest.

It felt as though she had jabbed a hot poker across my body and it took nearly all the energy I had to keep from reflexively breaking her arm.

"No Reneeing me! I'm going to miss my baby boy!"

I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"I have a surprise for you!" She sang as she grabbed my hand and pulled me along. My shoulder gave another crack.

_I just want food…and a bottle of OxyCotin 160 MG….and a missus…and a new body that doesn't break. _

"Mom let me eat and shower before you go on one of your crazy sheraids." I begged her as I walked without limping. She ignored me and kept tugging me along.

"No time! No time!" She repeated and I couldn't help but think of the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland.

I chuckled and she looked over her shoulder at me.

"You know that black and blue won't give Charlie a good first impression."

"Huh?" I didn't think Charlie would be checking me out when I was half naked. I couldn't even be half naked in Forks. It was too fucking cold.

_I'll have to trade my cotton pajama bottoms for some thermal onesies or some shit to stay warm. _

"Your eye."

"Oh…" My free hand gently touched the left side of my face.

No pain.

The right side;

I flinched in pain.

_Fucking Karina. _

_Or was it Lee? _

_Fuck them both. _

"It will be like Charlie's tenth impression." I said taking two quick steps to walk beside her.

We passed through our enormous living room that got redecorated every other month. I didn't even pay attention to our house anymore. I only came home to sleep, and even that wasn't a guarantee. She lead me out towards the patio. The glass wall already gave away the surprise before she even opened the door.

She had planned a surprise going away party. I should have known.

_More people to pretend with. _

Only my mother would do something like this when I was in enough physical pain to legally be on a gallon of morphine and Novocain.

She decorated our bare dirty brown backyard with balloons and cheap colorful banners. There was a table for food and a D.J was playing some pop songs all the way in the back. Everyone was huddled around in the middle grinding up against one another to the music.

_Dry humping. _

_Fucking gross. _

I already had my going away party last night.

This one was for Renee.

Yesterday I was kidnapped by my only friends and teammates and we went to the abandoned army base. We hiked through the mini rendition of a forest, broke a few gates with signs that read 'trespassers will be shot', climbed up onto a manmade hill and then preceded beat the living daylights out of each other.

We had been there for over 10 hours, drinking, getting high, and trying to tear each other limb from limb.

It wasn't masochist crap. And it wasn't like a cult. We were fighters.

Runners ran.

Volleyball players played volleyball.

Swimmers swam.

Fighters – tried to kill each other.

As she opened the patio door most heads turned. I smiled politely. All of the kids were from my high school, and most of them only came for the eye candy and free food.

Renee pushed me into the crowd and I wished I'd never gotten out of bed in the first place. "Here he is! Here he is!" She yelled as though everyone didn't notice her beaten up son.

People muttered "Surprise" without even trying to say it unanimously.

_I hate you all. _

No, hate was too strong of an emotion for the majority of the strangers.

I didn't care for any of them.

I rolled my eyes at my mother and whispered sarcastically, "This is sooo sweet." She missed the sarcasm and gave me a big grateful smile.

Finally I saw my best friend, Lee, emerging from the crowd and walking towards me. He was the second best fighter in the sunny state of California.

I was the first.

My mom walked away into the herd of dancing teenagers. She fit in with them more than I did.

Lee slapped his hand on the shoulder that didn't feel as though it was being burnt off with a rusty chisel. I was grateful. I might have just punched him hard enough to break his jaw if he would have.

That also meant he was probably the one to cause the pain.

The urge to break his jaw returned.

"How are you feeling man?" Lee asked shoving his hands into his jean pockets and his left hand emerged out in a fist. I held my hand out and he dropped the pills into my hand.

_Codeine. _

_Weak ass shit. _

_But beggars can't be choosers. _

I swallowed the 4 pills dryly and Lee smirked at me as I made a disgusted face.

He was about 3 inches shorter than me, but had a buffer frame than I did. He was the darkest out of everyone on the team since he also surfed when we didn't have practice, which usually meant he had to ditch school to catch some waves. His dark blue eyes were slanted, showing off his Asian heritage. He had messy black hair that went in a thousand directions.

We kept our hair the same way since 5th grade. We were as close as brothers.

No – we were closer.

We were fighters.

His arms held the same old scars they always did. From our knife fights, falling down hills, cinderblock accidents, and any other stupid shit we tried.

I noticed a big, once gashing – now dry blood – wound coming from his earlobe down to his neck. I couldn't remember what caused that.

Yesterday was too much of a blur.

"I didn't want this." I said ignoring his question as I looked past him at the herd of sheep doing the mating dance. I saw our other teammates make their way towards us. None of the other kids in school even tried to acknowledge me anymore.

I was treated as an outside in my own fucking house.

_Dipshits. _

"Just put on a smile." Lee said running his hand through his hair as he stepped aside to make room for everyone else that was coming towards us. "It's for Renee and Phil."

"Fuck Phil."

"Fuck him and the horse he road on." Jon said as he stood beside Lee.

Jon was the tallest out of us and he was very slender. He preferred grappling over fighting because of his dexterity, but he was a good combat fighter anyway. He had black hair sleeked back, and a goatee that made him look like a cartoon impersonation of the devil. He was also the only insane person in all of California to wear a black turtle neck and scarf in 90 degree weather. I could not tell yesterday's damage on his body. Although his left cheek had a few cat like scratches.

"Hey Captain. Who shit on your face this morning?" Boris asked popping his gum in his mouth as he took his place beside Jon.

Boris was as tall as me, and had bleached blonde hair. He had a square face and pouty lips. He held the expression of a model about to pose for a close up. He was the newest addition to our team and we were all still feeling out his fighting style. But he did have skill, just needed sharpening up. He didn't bother wearing a shirt, and showed off his bruised chest with pride. He didn't have the permanent scars that the rest did.

_Yet. _

"Be nice. Douche bag." Karina said back-fisting Boris in his abdomen right onto the largest black and blue. Boris flinched and looked like he was going to hit her.

She could totally kick his ass.

"We're going to miss you." Karina said turning her attention to me.

I smiled at her.

She was by far one of the best people I had ever met, second only to Lee. She was Lee's half sister; younger by only a few months. Their father was a womanizer. She didn't have his Asian eyes or tanned skin – they looked nothing alike. She had strawberry blonde hair, and round oval hazel eyes. Karina had smooth pale skin and her body had definition but it didn't protrude with muscle like the rest of the team. She didn't fight with strength, she fought with her mastery at pressure points…and that gave her the advantage in a lot of fights. Lee also told me that her body fat percentage is so low now that she no longer got her period anymore.

She was like one of the guys in almost every way. Including her bruises. She wore a light blue button up shirt, but she didn't button the top of it and I could see the fresh bruise indents of a fist right in the middle of her chest. She also had a large sword scar from the tip of her collar bone down to the top of her left breast. Her arms were as scratched up as Lee's and mine.

"I won't miss him." Lee lied. I knew he'd miss me. Fuck, I wasn't even that stubborn. I'd miss the jackass too. I'd miss everyone.

_Fucking Phil. _

"Yoo hoo! Yo Ho! Santa's got presents!" Jesse, another fighter joined us with his arms filled with glass beer bottles. He had been on our team since eighth grade, and was a year older than me but ditched a year of school so he was in our grade. He was about Karina's height and had a slender frame. His biggest attribute was that he was fastest out of everyone. He had a large bruise the left side of his jaw that was brand new and a few scratches on his neck. I noticed a few fingerprint like bruises on his arm as he handed around the beer. He definitely fought with Karina.

"It's ho ho ho." Karina corrected him.

"Now don't insult me. I'm a hooker not a ho. I get paid." Jesse said handing me a Corona.

Leave it to my mother to endorse underage drinking.

"You're all a bunch of sluts. Cheers." I said and we all banged our bottles and took a big gulp.

Painkillers and alcohol isn't safe. But it was probably the safest thing I'd done all that week. I doubted I was the only one who had swallowed pain killers that day either.

We all made our way as far away from everyone else as we could. We weren't friends with any of them.

Sex buddies? Sure.

Acquaintances? Sure.

Tutors? Sure.

Friends? No.

We were each other's friends and didn't need any outsiders.

We sat under a huge weeping willow behind the large pink granite garage that stored old furniture that hid some weapons I didn't want my mom to know about.

Lee to my right, Karina to my left. Boris near Lee and Jon near Karina. And Jesse between Boris and Jon, facing me. That's how our circle always sat.

"Man its such bullshit that your leaving." Jon said taking another sip of his beer.

"Life's full of bullshit." Lee said.

"What's Sporks like?" Karina asked me.

"Forks." I corrected her. "It's green, wet, and fluffy." I said recalling from memory the endless green plants and trees.

"A horny fat girl with a green bush?" Boris asked and we all laughed.

"No fucktard. Everything's all green, tons of trees. And it rains all the time. Everyone's a weakling there. Nothing to do. There's like no crime, no danger. There's been only one school fight in twenty years at the local high school."

I wasn't surprised when everyone stared at me in disbelief.

Karina got into at least 2 school fights a week. Which meant Lee and I got into twice as much trying to keep her ass safe.

We heard footsteps and everyone's head and eyes darted towards the intruder.

It was only my mom walking towards us with a thin long box.

"You guys need to mingle! Everyone came to this party for you! They're all going to miss you!"

None of us said anything; we all just stared at her.

She hated that.

"Here's the pizzzzzza!" My mom said with fake enthusiasm placing a huge box between us.

Everyone muttered in gratitude and my mother left us immediately heading to entertain the guests that she preferred over us.

"A lot of people came." Jon said opening the pizza box and grabbed the first slice. It was pepperoni pizza. I saw Karina scrunch her nose in disgust from my peripheral vision. Jesse grabbed two slices and pressed them together like a burger before taking a bite.

Lee grabbed the next slice.

"Oh, snap. Check out that hottie." Boris said sitting up and cocking his head slightly to try to get a better look.

"Tramp." Karina muttered handing me a slice of pizza.

She was right.

They were all tramps.

Tramps in skimpy clothes.

"They all came here for the free food." I said taking a bite of the pizza.

"And eye candy." Karina added.

"Yea what are the girls going to do with THE Edward Swan missing?" Jesse said in a T.V anchor's voice.

"I do believe that the purchase of pornographic novels in the area will go up." Jon teased.

"Go fuck yourselves." I chuckled and gave Karina a bite of my pizza where there was no pepperoni. She leaned in and chomped down.

"Man… we are going to have to hold try outs for another member." Lee said sighing and ate his pizza sulking.

Try-outs were a pain. When Anthony had left us because he got signed to Element Skating Company, a few months ago we held try-outs that lasted nearly a month. No one seemed good enough.

"We need to get ourselves a cheerleading squad." Boris said grabbing two slices of pizza and copied Jesse eating style.

I started to feel a hint of sadness. I was really leaving my team.

_My life. _

"I heard Dickchard wanted to try out." Jon said.

Richard Denari was nicknamed Dickchard by Karina last year when he asked her out to every single school dance, even after she punched him in the nose and – of course, breaking it.

Karina scuffled. "Sure, he can try out. Me and him, 5 minute boxing match."

I picked off the next few pieces of pepperoni and handed the pizza to Karina.

"I don't want to be associated with murder." Lee said.

Karina flashed him the middle finger as she bit into the pizza.

"Not like anyone would replace Edward." Jesse said taking another two slices.

I smiled softly.

_At least my team believes I am irreplaceable…for the time being. _

"Give it a year. Edward's going to be fluffy." Lee said and I nearly elbowed his collarbone in.

"Like hell." I replied clenching my jaw.

"Who are you going to fight?" Lee asked eating the crust of his pizza.

Karina handed me back the pizza with the section of pepperoni.

"I'll wrestle with the fucking wolves if I have to." I said grinning and everyone laughed.

We had a run in with a wolf last year while camping. We thought wrestling with it might be a good idea. In our defense I can honestly say we were high beyond belief and possible intoxicated with alcoholic blood levels of over 90 percent.

No innocent animals were harmed in the process of our stupidity.

We, on the other hand, all ended up in the hospital with enough shots up our ass to count for an overdose. Anthony was paranoid enough to believe he had rabies and still panics in the sight of dogs.

The wolf left us pretty scarred up. Almost all of our bodies were disgusting. Boris was the only one who still showed off his ripped figure. Eventually it would be scarred and overflowing with ugly bruises. Bones would grow differently and organs would be damaged. That's price you paid for the sport.

That's why Jon always covered his body. He was ashamed of the bite marks, and the deep scars and slashes. He also got the most damage when we went hiking a few years ago and he lost his footing, taking Karina with him as he tumbled down. They both ended up in the hospital for two weeks.

_Those 2 weeks were boring as fuck. _

I used to go to the hospital about 8 times a year before we all figured out how to relocate dislocated joints, fix broken ribs, and how to take care of blood clots.

I had a call from my doctor a few months ago asking if I was dead since I didn't show up for random X-rays or my usual bodily damages.

Most of the time we just ignored the pain. Some of us had parents who cared, while some of us just got tired of being fixed. Whatever it was, a broken arm or sprained ankle never got used as an excuse to miss practice.

"Nah, I could see Edward as a simple country boy." Jesse said in a southern accent.

"Texas Chainsaw Massacre kind of boy." Jon said and we all laughed.

"Oh god. Remember that chainsaw shit?" Karina asked giggling as I handed her the crust of my pizza.

We all broke into a laugh.

It wasn't really a funny story. Lee almost killed himself. But he didn't. So we could laugh at his stupidity.

You don't try to do a one handed cartwheel into a front hand spring into a summersault while holding a live chainsaw.

"Hey I did it." Lee said pressing the beer bottle against his lips for another gulp.

"Then the chainsaw slipped and you ran away screaming like a little girl." Karina said taking a bite of the crust.

"Look who's talking." Jesse said with a full mouth.

Karina tossed him the middle finger and a death stare.

Yesterday, Jesse had hidden behind one of the tree's Karina was leaning on and he grabbed her from behind. She screamed loud enough to wake up half of California. She had an immense superstition of werewolves, vampires, and the like and always got jittery when we went camping or hiking at night. When she figured out it was only Jesse …she of course tried to kill him.

_I am going to miss this. _

There was never a dull moment between us. There was school, school fights, practice, Karina induced fights, and sparing. Life was interesting.

"Don't look so sad Eddie." Lee said grabbing another slice of pizza from the box.

I gave him an evil stare. I hated being called Eddie.

"Yea. 2 more years and we'll all be in the Marines." Jon said grinning.

If it weren't illegal, the U.S government would have scooped us up years ago. We could probably put the marines to shame. ROTC rejected us for being too violent. Karina was the first to get kicked out from bringing our sergeant to his knees with a twist of his wrist. We all eventually gave up at their 'playtime'.

"Green Berets." Jesse said and we all toasted our beers to that.

Jon's father and my grandfather had been in the Green Berets and were killed in duty. Death didn't scare any of us, but living a civilian life did.

We would all rather die in combat, beside one another, than die from old age. Neither of us felt complete anywhere else except in a fight. Nothing felt better than getting knocked down and getting back up. Nothing felt better than pushing yourself beyond your limitations to reach the next level. It never ended; there was always a next level to be reached.

Usually we didn't have a reason to fight. We just fought because it was something we were good at. Something we enjoyed doing. Once in a while one of us would get pissed off enough to fight for a reason, but that was usually to save Karina's ass from getting jumped by some wanna-be gang of 10 steroid using over-buff dudes with knives.

"Just don't get so weak that we can beat you up to a bloody pulp." Lee said seriously.

"While blindfolded." Jon added.

"One handedly." Boris said coyly.

"In a wheelchair." Jesse added the cherry to the statement.

"Thanks for having so much faith in me." I said leaning against the tree.

_Jackasses. _

_But I love them. _

Karina leaned over and planted a kiss on my cheek. I gave her a smile.

I loved her like a brother. She also gave me some hope that strong females existed. But so far she was the only one. Smart, beautiful, strong, and a mouth of a sailor.

"We need to have another fight." Boris said.

"We fought yesterday." Karina flashed him a dirty look.

"Yea. My mom flipped out when she was doing laundry this morning. She thought I was dead. Freaken woke me up at 9 A.M with my bloody clothes in her hand screaming to me in Spanish." Jon said.

"Haahaa. You mom's a show." Lee laughed.

"A M-I-L-F" Boris said.

"Fuck you." Jon said.

"Dad pretends not to notice anymore." Karina said taking the last slice of pizza and peeling off the first pepperoni and held it out to me. I opened my mouth and she put it in.

Jon shifted his weight and sat with his legs crossed.

"My toes been fucking killing me all day." Jon said. "Fuck you and your elbows." Jon said to Boris.

Boris chuckled. He had lost every fight last night, but he did cause a fair share amount of damage to his opponents. He was a fast learner.

I felt nostalgia creep up on me. Today was the last time I would be with my team.

Tomorrow I would be somewhere where people knitted as a hobby. Where kid's had curfews before the sun set. Where the most exciting thing was probably a mall located in another city.

I didn't want to leave.

_Fuck Phil. _

I hated my mother's new husband. I hated that I was underage. I hated that I had to live with my father while my mother went off with her boy toy to Florida. I hated it. But I would rather be with my father in the middle of nowhere than be in the same state as Phil. I hated his guts and would probably show it the only way I knew how.

He tried to convince my mother that martial arts was bad for me.

_Sure, I have detention every other day, and medical insurance refused to cover me anymore…but it's what I love. _

He loved fucking my mother. I didn't try to stop him.

How dare he try to stop me from fucking other people up.

The worst part about it was my mother wouldn't let me stay in California. Lee's parents would have accepted me. Hell Boris was already renting out his own apartment at 16. There were many things I would do, but go against my mother's good hearted wishes wasn't one of them. She genuinely wanted me to stay with her or Charlie.

So I picked Charlie over her.

That was a below the belt blow to her. But eventually she got over it. She had the whole summer to prepare for my departure.

Besides it was only 2 years. I could keep my training up for 2 years and then go to the Marines. And for the summer, I would obviously stay in California. Renee could come to see me, or never see me. I was not going to go to Florida.

_Florida could suck my left nut. _

I zoned back into the conversation and they were reminiscing on when we tied ropes to the top of the constructed skyscraper in the city at night. We tried to climb to the top and swing from rope to rope. That resulted in 9 broken bones, 1 shattered collarbone, 6 dislocated wrists, and 4 sprained ankles. And the usual bloody face or two.

I couldn't take it anymore. I was about to weep like a baby.

I didn't want to fucking go.

_2 years…_

_Only 2 years. _

I stood up and everyone's eyes darted towards me. "I'll be right back." I said and walked away, with my beer bottle as my only company.

* * *

Hehe :X very different from my other story.

Let me know what you think :)


	3. Threshold

When out of view, I changed my walk into a limp. I was barely able to keep pretending I wasn't in pain.

_Stupid weak ass pain killers. _

Everyone else was pretending too. It was obvious in the way they sat and how they shifted their weight. I stumbled to the front yard and sat on the sidewalk with my legs spread out into a V. I took another gulp of my beer.

I lived on the corner of Ira Avenue and Laudas Street. All the houses in the neighborhood were huge and cheap. The main cities were hours away. But with a high school that had the best Rugby and the best Mixed Martial Arts teams, it was well known enough. Plus the beach was only 30 minutes away. It was a good place to raise violent or suicidal kids.

I reminisced on my childhood for a moment. There was a huge park 15 minutes south of the next street, where my mom left me during the afternoons. It had 3 different types of playgrounds. One of toddlers, another for little kids, and the third for preteens. That park was the most vital thing to my childhood. It was where my life really started.

I grinned at the memory.

I heard soft uneven footsteps approach me; they were Lee's. I didn't bother looking over my shoulder to acknowledge him.

"Yo." He said sitting beside me. I heard his knees crack as he bent down.

I nodded.

"You'll be fine man."

"You remember when we first met?" I asked, Lee chuckled and I continued talking. "You were at the water fountain trying to fill up a broken water balloon."

"And Karina was playing in the sandbox." He said.

"Some big kid took her shovel." I said.

"I think it was bucket." He corrected.

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever."

"Man she knocked that kid down to the ground with, like, two hits." Lee said, his voice was filled with pride.

We both laughed remembering Karina hit the kid in his crotch.

"And that kid's brothers came, and I went to stand up for my sister." Lee shook his head from side to side with a growing smirk on his face.

"And you were outnumbered." I reminded him.

"Please, by one. I could have handled it."

"You were like 6; they were at least in junior high."

"Whatever." Lee said rolling his eyes stubbornly.

"And I came to fight with you." I said as the memories replayed in my head. I have no idea why I did went to help him. But I did. That one choice changed my whole life.

"And we got out asses handed to us." Lee reminded me.

"Hahaha, yea."

"Man I just realized. Karina has always gotten picked on."

"More fights to be fought."

"We're going to miss you, man."

"Same here. I have no idea how I'm going to manage." I said honestly.

"Wish you weren't such a momma's boy." Lee said spitting over his shoulder.

"Go fuck yourself." I had caused my mom enough pain by getting into fights constantly and she never asked me to quit or stop. She had to visit the principal's office at least once a month on my behalf. If my grades weren't so damn good I'd have gotten expelled freshman year. But with perfect SAT scores and 5's on all the A.P exams, the school liked to keep me around. Even the situation with James wasn't enough to make the school expel me. My mother never said anything about it, even though it was constantly on the local news.

"We'll visit you."

We sat in silence for a while after that. Lee began to tap his nearly empty bottle against the sidewalk.

"Do you ever wonder, maybe we're not meant to be human?" I asked suddenly.

Lee raised his eyebrow.

"Like we're monsters."

Lee seemed to consider it. "Sometimes."

"Yea. Me too." I nodded to myself.

"Don't go become a normal on me while in Forks man." Lee warned.

"Haha, I doubt it."

"What brought that up by the way?"

"I was thinking about James."

Lee nodded.

I almost killed James last year, and even got arrested for it. I'm usually a calm person.

Actually, I am a very clam person when around strangers. Around my friends I could be myself, but around strangers I was as peaceful as I could be.

But James was a guy I didn't even know.

And I hated his guts.

Sometimes I wish I had killed him.

Sometimes I wish I never interfered.

But the point was. I was able to kick someone while they were down. I was able to punch a bleeding face. I was able to push someone else's joints to the verge of breaking and then some. I was able to disfigure him.

I was a monster.

_But hadn't he deserved it? _

_Maybe. _

_But who am I to say who deserves to live and die? _

That's why the military was the safest bet for me.I wouldn't be able to control myself much longer.

"Stop thinking about it." Lee said.

I sighed, I couldn't.

"That dick had it coming." Lee tried to justify my actions to me.

"If you didn't come…" I trailed off.

"You would have killed him. Big fucking deal."

_It is a big fucking deal. _

"What he did to those girls…inexcusable."

"I guess it's the girls fault isn't it?"

"No normal guy would be able to survive a one on one fight with Karina. That's proof enough that girls can defend themselves."

I didn't believe it was the girls' fault. Some people just couldn't protect themselves. We had to protect them.

_But is it protecting if you kill the guilty person? _

_Who becomes the victim then? _

_Isn't James the victim too? _

I let my head drop. I hated thinking about it.

"Just don't get soft." Lee whispered. "I think I'll really go insane if you get soft."

"Why?" I mumbled.

"Because then I'll be the only monster I know."

"You're not a monster." I didn't even realize that Lee honestly considered himself a monster.

"Yet. You think I don't want to hurt them too? Those idiots who tease the band guys. Or those sexiest mother fuckers who toy with girls? And don't even get me started on those racist jackasses. Fucking hell. I have no idea what's keeping me from killing every single one of those bastards."

I nodded. He understood me so well. It was if we were cut from the same tainted cloth.

Lee continued in a lighter tone, "I'm so fucking grateful Karina attracts every single jackass in the school so I have a reason to beat the daylights out of them."

I laughed.

Our school had 13,000 kids since it was the local school for 7 nearby towns. It was bigger than some college campuses. It was easy enough to find a few hundred jackasses.

"Isn't it all a part of the high school experience?" I asked throwing my head back and looking up at the sky clear blue sky. It looked like pool water without ripples.

"Totally." Lee was sarcastic. "It's all a part of the high school experience. The girl's becoming so insecure from an ex boyfriend that they become anorexic. The bulimic girls throw up in the bathroom during lunch because their guilty after eating a fucking cracker. Those kids that become homophobic and lash out at the gays and lesbians with comments that will make them ashamed for even existing. The jocks stuffing the band members in the lockers because they don't do steroids and don't spend all their time in the gym. The fights over girls. The fights over boys. The torture a black kid goes through just for being black. Or what about the gangs with knives and guns, they don't know how to use, that make neighborhoods unsafe. Let's not forget the Muslim's in our school's getting their heads bashed onto their desks for something they are not even responsible for. Yea totally, all a fucking part of the god damn brilliant high school ex-fucking-perience."

Lee was right.

I hated high school.

I hated society.

I hated people.

I hated our culture.

I hated teenagers.

I hated girls.

I hated guys.

I hated everything except fighting.

Fighting was a moment in time when nothing mattered. It didn't matter if your opponent was a girl, boy, black, white, religious, atheist, or all of that and some. You fought just because.

Now I was going somewhere, where no one fought.

_I am seriously going to lose my mind. _

"Want me to send Karina with you? I'm sure she'll attract trouble." Lee offered to solve my problem.

I forced myself to laugh.

"No." I said simply.

"Do you like her?" Lee asked me.

I turned my head to watch him drink down the rest of his beer.

"Do you want to fuck her?" He clarified when there was no more left.

"No." I said truthfully. She was a teammate. She was a fellow fighter. I respected her too much to look at her any other way.

"Then break her heart. I'll make sure she gets her frustrations out on Boris." He said getting up and leaving me with a slight limp.

I saw Karina walking towards me; she passed Lee without even noticing him. Or pretending not to.

She took Lee's spot beside me. Her knees didn't crack.

"Hey." She said.

"Hey." I said.

"So, you nervous?" She asked taking my bottle and drinking the rest of it.

_Not as nervous as you look. _

"Not really."

"I'm going to miss you." She handed my bottle back.

"I'll miss you too Shorty."

"Fuck you."

I laughed. I adored her reactions.

"I…ummm. I wanted to tell you something."

"You're really important to me Karina; let's not complicate things with words we don't mean or even want to even say."

She looked at me, examining my face and nodded. "Yea, Lee warned me."

"Can I ask you something?" I asked her.

"Sure." She shrugged.

"What did you think of the James thing?"

"I hated that you had to do time for it. Bastard deserved it."

"It was only a few days Karina." I laughed. Leave it to her to exaggerate and make it sound as though I spent years in jail.

"So? What he did to that girl, what's her name? Clare. I mean. I would have done the same thing in your place."

_Karina's a monster too. _

_Lee isn't the only other one. _

"Do you think you could kill a person?" I asked.

"No and yes. I could never hurt a normal person Edward. You couldn't either. Don't give me that look. You know you'd never hurt an innocent person."

"What makes someone innocent?"

"I don't know. Being the victim without deserving it?"

_James became the victim when I almost killed him. _

"Hey Mr. Gloomy. Let's spend the night at the beach." She said brightly.

"My flights in the morning."

"So, Renee will pick you up. Come on. One last night." She pleaded.

"Karina…I don't – " Her fingers darted to my bicep muscle poking and pinching at the same time, causing a muscle spasm in my arm. "Jesus fucking Christ. Okay okay." I said giving up.

Some girls got what they wanted by pouting.

Others by crying.

Karina did neither.

I looked at her. "Jesus. Where did you learn that one?" I said rubbing my arm. I never bothered to hide the pain caused by my teammates. If they caused it, they deserved to know it. But the next day I'd pretend as though I was all better.

"Jon's been my experiment."

"So that's why he twitches when you move." I said laughing.

"Takes a lot of guts to just stand there while I poke around." Karina defended him.

I smiled at her. "Let's go to the beach."

"I'll get the others."

"My car?" I asked.

"My car." She said.

Probably a good idea if she was going to ask Renee to pick me up.

I already packed two duffle bags of clothes up in my room; Renee would only need to drag them down the stairs and into the car. I was sure if Phil wasn't being a douche bag he would help her.

I concentrated on not thinking for a while. I tried to clear my mind, but failed. The conversation of James had brought the unwanted images back into my head. I had enjoyed hurting him. I had enjoyed dislocating his knee. I enjoyed watching the pool of blood forming around his dying body.

I had enjoyed getting the revenge the girl would never get.

_That revenge was not mine to get. _

I waited till a big black monster jeep, that burned more gas per mile than a Military Tank, pulled up a few feet away from me with Karina in the driver's seat. I stood up and left the bottle in my place.

Jon and Jesse were in the backseat. Jon was holding our personal blue volleyball between his legs. It wasn't like a normal volleyball.

It weighed 15 pounds.

"Lee's taking his car." Karina said as I climbed in into the freezing car. It was probably 20 degrees inside and a wave of gooseflesh ran down my spine.

I didn't bother buckling up. My team had the fastest reflexes I'd ever seen and if anything were to happen it would be a normals fault.

"Man. Victoria's been bugging me." Jesse said, and I looked over my seat; he was on his phone texting his girlfriend.

It's hard balancing a relationship, school and martial arts.

We usually gave up on the first two.

Jesse's phone dinged.

"Fuck."

"Broke up with you?" Karina asked.

"Fuckity fuck fuck."

Karina made a tight illegal U-Turn.

"What happened?" I asked.

"God. And I liked her. Fuck."

"You're breaking up with her." Jon stated more than asked.

The team came first, sex and school came second. Some people just couldn't deal with that.

"Man and she gave such good blow jobs." Jesse said sending another text message.

"Jeez at least call her to break up with her." Karina said looking over her shoulder at Jesse while making another illegal turn.

"Keep your eyes on the road lass." Jon said.

"What's the point of how you break up with a person? I mean it's over, it's over. Who cares if you say it in a letter, a text, in person, or with fucking sign language?" Jesse defended his cowardly break up.

"She's going to spread nasty rumors about you." Karina said getting on the highway. The car went 15 miles over the speed limit.

"Well you're going to stand up for wittle ol me wight?" Jesse finished in a baby voice.

"Of course. But you know I don't fight girls."

Karina had broken a girls rib by accident in a cat fight. That kept the girls from attacking her, but it also made her realize her own abilities and how dangerous she was. And it caused the guys to become too interested.

She kept away from girls. She didn't even use the girl's bathroom in school. Anthony had gotten her the key to the teacher's bathroom freshman year of high school. And we helped her take care of any dipshit guys that caused her problems.

Jesse's phone beeped. "Hahha listen to this." He cleared his throat and raised his pitch a few levels to imitate Victoria's voice, "You are the worst person on the planet! You don't care about anyone else but yourself! You sleezy scumbag! Karate is all you think about! YOU'RE GAY!"

"Hah. Millesa's break response is still worse." I said. It was a pathetic attempt to comfort him. I knew he actually had feelings to her.

"Yea but her blow jobs sucked." Jesse said as he pressed some buttons on his phone – probably deleting her number.

"Another one bites the dust." Jon sighed.

Jon hadn't been able to even talk to girls since he joined the team. Karina was the only girl he could hold a conversation with. She even changed parts of her schedule to match with Jon's so he wasn't completely alone in school. He was completely anti social towards the normals.

"Yo, Jon. Any news on Ant?" I asked.

"He's in New York right now. Got signed up to do some stunts in a punk music video."

"How's he doing?" I asked. Everyone knew what the question really meant.

"He hasn't hurt anyone. Wants to though." Jon said.

I heard Karina let out a grunted sigh. Anthony was proof that we could never be fully normal. But at least he was trying. We just hopped he wouldn't end up in jail for murder. I had no doubt that when his skating contract would expire he'd be in the Marines with the rest of us.

"Have you heard from Jake?" I turned my head at Karina.

Jake was Karina's one and only boyfriend that lasted a whole week before she knocked him unconscious. In her defense he was trying to feel her up. But in his defense…nope there isn't any, you're insane if you don't have body builder type strength for even trying to get with her.

Karina's right hand shot out at me trying to pressure point me while she kept her eyes on the road. I grabbed her wrist, she twisted her hand out of my grasp and grabbed my wrist back. She pressed her thumb between the two muscle patches in my thumb; I pressed my index finger into the cavity of her middle finger pushing it to the verge of breaking. She flinched turning the car into oncoming traffic for a second. We released each other and she drove back onto the correct side. Reaching 140 miles per hour.

"I don't want to die yet." Jesse said.

"There are still blow jobs to be had?" Jon teased.

"Damn right." Jesse nodded flipping through his phone. "Damn it. I can't find any decent girls."

"No bra girl broke up with small penis Peter." Karina said.

We had nicknames for all the normals.

"Sha-wheat!" Jesse said. "What's her number?"

"Oh my god. I like totally, like actually, like oh my god, like I totally know that!" Karina said putting on the valley girl attitude and we couldn't help from laughing. "Shut up before I drive into a tree." She said lowering her voice to her normal level. She cut off a red corvette and the driver opened his window and yelled out profanities at her.

We all laughed.

She got off the highway the next exit.

This was the last time I was going to almost get killed by Karina's driving. It was the last time I'd hear about another one of Jesse's break ups. It was the last time I'd be at a real beach.

_Well till next summer. _

_But that was forever and a half away. _

I leaned my head up against the window.

"My mum bought me a prom dress for junior prom." Karina said driving past a red light.

"Holy fuck. You in a dress?" Jon said.

"Yea fucking right." I said turning my head to look at her. I'd never even seen her in a dress.

I couldn't believe I was going to miss it.

"Nope. I'm going to bet Boris. He beats me and he has to wear my dress to prom. I'll be his date." Karina said chuckling.

"In a tux?" I asked.

"Damn right baby." The view of the beach became visible and she drove down for about 15 miles to the very end of the boardwalk of the beach. The sand was crystal white and the water was the type of blue you'd only see in travel brochures.

The crowds of people in view began to decrease and fewer cars were parked as she drove on. No one hung out at our spot.

There were enough rumors about that spot to keep even the most curious person at bay in fear for their sanity and life.

She parked smoothly at the very end right next to the wooden fence that separated one section of the beach from some construction site that has been at a hiatus for the past 7 years. Before we got out of Karina's car, Lee parked next to us with his black Lexus.

We all stepped out and slammed the doors shut.

"You suck at driving." Lee said to Karina.

"You could barely keep up." She said hoping onto the boardwalk.

Lee was a better driver than Karina, but Karina broke all the rules making her more fun.

Once we crossed the paneled boardwalk, we took off our flip flops or sneakers and walked on the hot white sand with our naked feet.

_This was the last time I'm going to see the sun for a long time. _

_It's the last time I would be with people who were just like me. _

I looked to my right; Lee, Jesse, Boris; all monsters.

I looked to my left; Karina, Jon; all monsters.

_We are all monsters. _

We all had the capabilities of murdering someone. Not the cheap way with a gun. But with our own bare hands.

Karina had the skill to stop a person heart with her fingers and temporary paralyze them.

Lee and I had the animal instinct to fight through the blood and keep hitting while the person was down. We were the beasts that wouldn't stop hitting a dead corpse.

Jesse could punch a person 10 times in the time it took for someone to throw just one punch. His punches could break ribs, and pierce his opponent's lungs.

Jon could dismantle a person's joints in close quarters. He could probably stick a person's head up their ass too.

_I'll have to ask him to try that one day. _

Anthony may have left us. But he told Jon that there wasn't a day he doesn't practice. There wasn't a day that he wasn't plagued with dreams of past fights. It was driving him out of his mind not being able to hurt someone.

Boris was new…he could be saved. He still had a chance to walk away. But he wouldn't. Once you have a taste of power, once you get hit and fall down to someone stronger…you become obsessed. It eats at you. You want to become stronger. You have to become stronger.

You want to become so strong that you lose your humanity.

I looked out at the beach; where the ocean ended and the sky began.

_Where did our humanity end? _

_Where did our monstrous instinct start? _

Jon tossed the volleyball to Karina, who caught it as if it weighed barely an ounce. He removed his scarf and turtle neck. I noticed the hundreds of little finger sized black and blues. Karina had been doing a number on his body.

_His nerves were probably fucked up too. _

There was one time Karina was studying from a medical book about needle therapy. She had tried something on Anthony and it caused him to go into cardiac arrest, and he couldn't feel his left arm for 2 months after that. The fucked up thing about it all, was none of us seemed worried. We rushed Anthony to the hospital right away, but we didn't believe he'd die.

_It was like we think we're all immortal. _

I glanced at Jon.

He also had a big scar going across the side of his back down towards his buttock, a wolf bite mark on his forearm that stretched all the way to the back of his hand. His shoulders were filled with scars that all of us had from playing with swords. His back had boot imprinted scars that he got from a gang fight. Lee and I saved him from probable death from a bunch of punks who didn't know how to fight fairly.

Jesse and Lee also took off their shirts. They had similar markings. Some bruises were newer than others – yesterday had a lot of serious fighting.

I felt as though I got the worst of the beating last night. I think some of them thought that if they killed me, I'd stay.

Karina tossed the ball to me and I caught it with a small flinch.

_Stupid shoulder. _

I tossed the ball to Lee.

Karina unbuttoned her shirt to reveal a black bikini top. She had planned to go to the beach before even asking me.

_Sly. _

She had a large, barely healed, wound on her rib cage stretching down to her hip. It was swelled up and the skin was torn revealing red flesh.

She should have wrapped it up to protect it from infection.

I kept my shirt on. It hurt too much to lift my arm up and I didn't care about an uneven tan. Forks would certainly turn me pale. I was busy putting in all my energy to walk evenly. My leg was still angered at the pressure I put on it. I would pay for not letting my body heal today, tomorrow.

I imagined someone watching us; they must have thought we all looked like fucked up models. I often thought of how people saw us from the outside. We weren't like them.

Daily training and constant fighting does sculpt our bodies, but it ruins them at the same time.

Our lives were improved and ruined at the same time.

We had a constant pact; we had something that could never be broken. We shared everything. But it had its downfalls. Like when you had to go and beat up your sister instead of going to see a new movie. When you had to train till 2 in the morning and miss half your classes because you over slept. When you had to break up with girlfriend after girlfriend because you could never give the girl the attention she deserved.

But we convinced ourselves it was worth it.

We all sat in a line, near the edge of where the waves reached the beach and just looking out into the vast abyss. The sun was going to set soon.

"I hate change." Jon said softly.

We all heard him.

We all agreed with him.

None of us responded.

We listened to the waves.

"I'm scared." I finally said when the sky turned purple and pink and the sun became orange. No one moved, or paid any attention to me. It was as though the waves were speaking with my voice.

It was our nights at the beach when we were emotionally honest. Where we admitted how much we hated ourselves. Where we told each other our biggest insecurities and offered each other advice.

Then tomorrow we'd be back to the usual; pretending we were fighting machines without a soul.

Except there would be no tomorrow for me.

Not in California.

"I promised Renee that I would go live with Charlie. It might be a good chance to get to know him and all that shit. But I've only seen him like 10 times my whole life. He's a stranger to me. Now I'm going to be living with him. Man that's fucked up." I sighed. "I'm scared of the kids in school. They'll all be good kids. With no problems. And I'll be the biggest fuck up there." I picked up a handful of sand in my hand and began to pour it out between the gaps of my fingers.

I heard Lee scuffled at me. "You want to fit in?"

"Sometimes." I said.

"We'll never fit in. Ever. When you know how to kill someone. You just can't look at people the same way again." Jesse said.

The waves reached my toes.

"You look at them as targets. You look at what if situations. What if he has a gun, what if he stalks me, what if he attacks me on my right, what if he comes at me from my left?" Karina said with sadness in her voice. She bent her knees, wrapped her arms around her legs and placed her chin between her knees.

They were all scared too.

"Do you think you can go back? Turn your back on this? On everything we are." I asked.

"That's like asking a dog to be a cat. We are who we've become. We've become who we are through experience. You can't erase the first time our fists connected with another body from our mind." Jon said falling backwards on the sand. "Or when someone else's fists connected with our body." Jon added under his breath.

"We'll never have a family. We'll never be able to love another person. Because we'll constantly be worried about hurting them." Lee said. He cleared his throat. "Edward, we've been at this since we learned not to poop in our fucking pants. What do you expect? Want the god damn diaper back?"

"We don't know how to deal with our emotions in any other way." Boris paused for a moment. "When we're happy we fight, when we're sad, we fight, when we're angry we fight…fighting is what we do for everything."

"How am I going to deal with that?" I asked.

"Play the piano more." Karina mumbled. Everyone ignored her.

"Man, treat the fucking trees as punching bags if you have to. Just don't hurt a normal." Lee said. "That's going to tear you apart Edward."

"Don't bottle it up." Jesse advised.

I looked at Karina. Her flawless skin was decorated with new flesh wounds and black and blues. I imagined if I didn't know her.

_If she was a normal girl. _

_If she was my girlfriend. _

_If I was angry. Would I hurt her? _

_Of course I would. _

Male or female. I could kill either.

That's how disgusting I was.

"Stop thinking." Lee said. "You're not going to kill anyone."

"Maybe there are freaks like us over there too." Boris said lightly.

_Freaks like us. _

"Yea, maybe." I laughed. "Freaks like us." I repeated. "Are we really so removed from society that we call ourselves freaks?"

"You have no idea." Karina whispered.

It was hardest on her. We all knew it. The guys in our school were top of the line disrespectful jackasses.

"Do you ever wish you never fought?" I asked.

"No." Lee said simply.

"Sometimes." Jon said honestly. "But then what would I have?" He stared at the sky sentimentally. "I'm no good at anything else. And I have tried everything else to see if maybe there was something else out there for me. There isn't."

"What could possibly be more interesting than fighting?" Jesse asked. "Fighting has no rules. The only limits are the limits you set. Like what, I'd be a football player…playing by some guy's rules having referees shout and blow whistles at me. What the fuck man. That's such toolish shit."

"We have our own refs." Boris said.

"We have dumbass judges, that's what we have. But I'm talking about when we fight. Each other. Hell even with those other martial artists…Not for points…but just to fight. I mean, like, the act of fighting. The one is the last one standing. You just….you just can't beat that. And it's never the same." Jesse said running his fingers through his hair.

"I definitely don't either." Karina said answering the question. "When I look through my eyes I see things in such a different light. I don't just feel sorry for the kid getting beat up; I fucking do something about it. I don't laugh at someone who trips; I catch them before they hit the ground. Edward be honest with yourself. Could you just stand around and do nothing? Be nothing." She paused for a while as if to debate with herself if she had something else to say. She did. "I think we are something."

Silence.

The wind picked up.

The sky darkened.

The stars came out.

The moon glowed in the water.

The waves roared violently.

"Well, one more time for old time's sake?" Lee said nudging me.

"I call dibs on Edward. I want payback for the car."

"Yea, I saw you swerve off on the wrong lane." Lee commented.

"Karina can't keep her hands to herself." I said, and at that exactly moment I had to do a forward dive roll towards the water to dodge Karina's kick aimed at my face. My arm began to throb and burn with a fervidity I had yet to feel. I didn't let it show as I watched Karina do a kip-up and land on her feet.

_Show off. _

Jon sat up and no one else moved.

The waves splashed across our ankles.

They watched us try to inflict pain on one another. They were absorbing our moves, checking out our weak points. Seeing ways Karina could hurt me, and ways I could hurt her. Mentally commenting on the mistakes we made and the things we could have done. They were studying us to better themselves.

I immediately noticed that we moved slower than usual, last night had drained most of our strength.

I jabbed at her face, she ducked and did a hook to my ribs, I blocked with my elbow, and she cursed under her breath as her knuckles echoed a cracking noise from the impact. I did an under fist to her gut but she did a spinning reverse kick to my face to bring distance between us. I barely ducked from the kick.

We bounced back and forth on our feet, testing our boundaries. I did a sliding side kick to her hip and she spun around avoiding my leg with ease and when she was close enough, she slammed her elbow between my shoulder blades. There was a loud snap.

It was my turn to curse. I did a back-kick and pushed her off me. She fell to the ground and a wave attacked her as she did a back roll back to her feet.

None of us stayed down for long.

"I-Oh!" Lee called and we both stepped away from each other with our arms down. That was the signal of the end of a fight. "Let's play some volleyball." Lee said.

"What the fuck?" I said.

Boris tossed the 15 pound ball at me. I caught it easily and I realized that my shoulder pain turned into a dull ache. Karina's elbow had helped ease the pain.

She was good like that.

"You're both pathetic as hell fighting now. It's disgraceful to have it be the last fight. Let's remember yesterday as our last fight till you return." Lee said and I doubted any of us remembered everything about last night.

I stared at Lee, knowing that he was lying. He gave me a, 'trust me' nod. And I did.

"Let's play volleyball." I agreed.

Everyone broke up into teams and Karina grabbed her button up shirt and put it back on.

It was me, Boris, Jon against Karina, Lee, and Jesse.

Just like our fighting. We had no rules in our volleyball. It was just a stupid sport we did to feel normal. There was no net and no lines indicating "in" or "out". Besides that, it was just like normal volleyball except when you hit our ball too hard into someone else; it hurt ten times worse than a normal volleyball. So the only choices you had were to block, pass, or attack.

With the help of the moonlight I saw one of the reasons why Lee stopped the fight. Blood soaked through Karina's shirt. My kick must have opened up one of her deeper wounds, and she had fallen on the sand and then a wave had engulfed her, so the salt was probably burning into her. She indicated no signs of pain.

We were pros at pretending.

_Pretending to be normal. _

_Pretending to be strong when we were weak. _

_Pretending to be weak when we were strong. _

_Pretending…always pretending. _

Just as she indicated no pain, I pretended that my arm didn't scream out and clammier down every time I lifted it up to make a pass.

We played for what seemed like hours, till we were all sweating and out of breath.

We eventually laid on our backs looking at the stars. Sometimes we'd mumble to one another about something stupid or important till we became whispers in the wind.

After a while, everyone grew silent and I assumed them to be asleep. I couldn't sleep.

I looked up at the stars. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. I almost felt as though I could jump up and reach the stars.

I felt as though I could fly through the beautiful empty sky and be free between the sky and ocean.

_At the threshold is where I want to be. _

_Between the sky and ocean. _

_Between monster and human. _

I sat up and looked around me. All my friend's bodies were spread out all around me, as if I had just entered a battlefield where they laid dead. Karina certainly looked as though she had a deadly wound inflicted on her. But she wouldn't die. Not that easily. I'd have to ask her to get it checked out. If it opened up so easily, she probably needed stitches.

I shook that thought out of my head and looked out to the break between sky and ocean.

If I were a poet, I could have made the scene romantic and heartwarming. I was no poet.

I was a fighter.

I was able to kill.

There, only witnessed by stars and the vast ocean – I let one silent tears escape. No matter how strong I would become, no matter how much control I would have – my anger would over take me and one day… I'd end up killing someone.

Killing a normal.

I would kill.

I'd hear the begging for mercy but I wouldn't care, I'd hear the screaming but it wouldn't bother me, I'd see the pool of blood I would create and it would just make the next blow harder. Harder and harder.

Faster.

Stronger.

Better.

Deadlier.

A subconscious part of me wished that Forks would fluff me up. Make me weak. Make me innocent. Turn me into a victim of society.

But I knew better…

My only hope was that someone would kill me before I had a chance to kill a normal person.

* * *

I hope the fighting scene was understandable! And I hope you're enjoying the story so far. What will happen to Edward when he moves to Forks?! :D!

Hehe, I appreciate all comments and reviews :) Thank you very much for reading!


	4. Nature

PoV: Unknown

The moon's reflection stared back at it from the vast body of shaking water.

The waves broke and repaired its mirror.

_Breaking and repairing._

The moon shattered from extraction and regained its shape from contraction.

The stars glimmered with hope in the sky and sparkled with lust in the water.

_Breaking and repairing._

.

.

.

.

.

.

The water, black like the night, spilled its gentle waters to wash away the trespassers on the beach.

The intruders laid scattered, like a mines in a field, upon the cooling grains of sand.

Their chests heaved up and down with the rhythm of the motion of the waves.

Their eyes closed; escaped to their own darkness.

Of their dreaming darkness – they would forget.

It would be washed off the shores of their minds.

_Breaking and Repairing._

No one watched them.

No one cared for them.

They were alone;

Disturbing nature by their very presence.

_Breaking and repairing._

.

.

.

.

.

The sand danced with the wind;

aiding on the attack of the intruders.

The grains grazed on their cuts and wounds

and settled in the openings;

where pains of yesterday told the story of today.

The irritation, they did not understand.

Their personal darkness did not explain the stinging pain.

Their tossing and turning deepened

as did their imprint on the beach.

The shards of sand clang to their openings.

Their irritation increased.

The uneasy turning increased.

.

.

.

.

The moon continued to shatter and repair itself in the waves.

The wind continued to hum the song of death around the strangers

as it erased the footprints in the sand.

_Breaking and Repairing._

The waves grabbed the sand –

they had failed to grab the aliens lying dead-like…

corpse of fishes on land.

The waves took the sand inside its body.

Mixing new untainted sand with old

and spit it out once more

in attempt to grab a foot.

_Push and pull._

.

.

.

_Breaking and Repairing._

Clouds tainted the sky like a thin worn out blanket.

The winds picked up

Turning and twisting the clouds

till the seams that held them together

ripped and ripped

till there was nothing left but a black

tainted sky

with the moon and stars staring

at their distorted reflection.

The moon stayed motionless in the sky

– it held its breath –

watching itself in the water.

.

.

Then a crack formed.

Separating sky and ocean

The crack began as a soft glowing line.

The waves attacked it

but they could never reach it.

The winds attacked it

but they could never blow it away.

.

The glow stole the darkness and replaced it with an unpaintable orange.

The calls of seagulls echoed in the wind – stealing away its song.

Their wings flapped against the breeze changing the motions.

The soft glow's rays attacked the moon

And so the moon blended in with the changing sky

disappearing from view

and the stars followed the moon

into their own personal darkness.

**"BEEP BEEP!"**

**"BEEP BEEP BEEP!"**

**"BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!"**

**"BEEP BEEP"**

Society woke up the intruders.

* * *

Maybe this chapter doesn't work with the story.

Maybe it does.

But I sketched it out during one of my class because it wouldn't get out of my head.

So here you go – Nature's point of view.

- I didn't mean to make it into a poem, but I just couldn't imagine a prose structure with it -

Thank you very much for reading; Edward's PoV will be next :) Then back to Bella! :)


	5. Needles

"BEEP BEEP!" I sat up slowly out the grave of sand that covered me. The sand drizzled down from my shoulders to my chest and landed on my lap.

My head pounded from the constant beeping, and my body ached with a renowned sense of torment. It was as if every wound on my body was purposefully covered by sand and the little beads of salt were grazing and cutting in my wounds deeper with every movement I made.

It was torture.

"BEEP BEEP BEEP!" I forced my eyes to open; I had to examine my surroundings because all my other senses were dulled. I couldn't rely on anything but my eyes. I turned my head, left to right.

I saw everyone else slowly lifting themselves up, and brushing away the blanket of sand. Jesse moved with an unsettling distress, I could tell that he was having a hard time bending over – must have fractured a disk.

"Mother – "Lee groaned as he sat up, I could see his leg vibrating with a muscle spasm. The left side of his face was covered by a mask of sand.

"BEEEEEEEEEEP"

"Fucker." Jon finished for him. He began coughing into his hands, if he spit blood – I didn't see.

I spit over my shoulder to try to clean my mouth from the sand that had somehow ended up inside.

"BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!"

I heard Boris growl and then saw him get up and jump up and down while flapping his arms like a flailing duck. I couldn't even laugh if I wanted to; my whole body ached from a fragile tension that was breakable. It was as if I was a rubber band, I was on the verge of snapping.

Thankfully the honking stopped and the clouds of my mind disappeared.

"God damn." Jesse said shaking his head clean with his hands.

My legs were buried in the sand, I had dug my own grave in my sleep and I wasn't sure if I wanted to get out.

I heard Karina curse under her breath, I looked over my shoulder. There wasn't a part of her body that didn't have sand on it. She took off her shirt and used it as a rag to dust the sand off her wounds. She didn't seem to be effected in a painful way; she only seemed aggravated by the sand's presence.

_She has needles in her. _

I couldn't tell how many.

"God damn the sun doesn't even want to come up." Jon said.

I looked out into the horizon. The luminous orange sun was peaking over the dark blue waves and the sky's matching darkness. The wind blew at us, pushing us away from the bay. I turned my head to spit out some more sand that tainted my saliva.

The wind always ruined our beach experience. But it never stopped us from coming back.

"Fucking swear." I saw Lee shaking himself off like a dog, and then fumbling for balance. His muscles weren't as responsive as they should have been. Lee muttered something under his breath, but I didn't hear it.

I tried to get up as well but my leg cramped up, so I stayed still for a moment. I tried to assess the situation. I hated asking for help, but my leg refused to even move. It became granite and nothing was breaking it.

_I need a hammer. _

"My hip is killllllling me." Karina complained.

_Liar…_

"You're hip? I think my ankle's broken; it's swelled up to the size of a damn boulder." Boris said rotating his ankle. I saw a bracelet of red soreness spreading around it. If it wasn't broken yet, he would break it soon.

"Shouldn't have jumped around like a buffoon." Lee said stretching his back out. We all heard at least 8 cracks.

"Yea and then Renee would fucking drive into the sand and honk in front of us." Jon said.

_She's done that before. _

"Ugh. I think something's up with my elbow." Lee said trying to examine it. I watched Karina fake a limp to him and examine it.

_Okay…so we're showing our weaknesses right now. _

I cleared my throat. "I need some help getting up." The words tasted salty, and I spit out whatever I could. The taste refused to disappear.

Lee and Karina were immediately at opposite sides of my shoulders to help me up. I grunted as my leg would not unclamp and their efforts were useless.

"Sit back down." Karina instructed and they lowered me down gently. Lee squatted beside me on my right while Karina went on her knees to examine the misbehaving leg.

"BEEP BEEEEP."

"Go fucking entertain Renee before she pisses in her pants." Lee snarled.

"Aye aye." Boris gave an army salute and turned slowly, careful not to put pressure on his ankle. Jesse did a small jog towards him and positioned himself so Boris could lean on him for support.

_We are all falling apart. _

"Karina, here." Jon said giving her his sweater that he had used as a pillow during the night.

Karina's shirt hung out of her back pocket, it had the sand glued to her blood stains and she decided to go shirtless, in only her bikini top.

I cocked my head to the side and examined her wound as she stood up to accept Jon's sweater.

It was infected. The outward layer of flesh was a dull blue and green and the skin was scabbing out, begging to be peeled off. The center of the wound was wet and puss dripped out of it.

_And she can't feel a thing…_

"Like something you see?" Lee asked while I watched Karina put on Jon's turtle neck over her head. She threw us the middle finger as she got the sleeves through.

"Get that cleaned up." I told her.

"Now, you know there's just something about exposed rotting flesh that is so damn appealing." Karina replied sarcastically as she bent down beside me again. Her arms groped my left thigh and she massaged down to my ankle, and then back up again.

"Fix it. Stop feeling me up."

"Shut up dipshit. I'm checking for blood clots, unless you want to bleed to death." She replied.

"There's just something about bleeding on the inside out that is just so damn appealing." I answered, mimicking her voice.

She pinched my shin. I flinched. I doubted she needed to actually do that.

"Be more original." She rubbed her thumbs under my knee cap and then she positioned herself between my legs, facing me. Slowly her hands traveled under my thigh. I turned my head to try to ignore the pain her fingers caused me; Jon had started to walk towards the others. His back was monstrous; the skin looked like a clay molding done by a child. I wondered if it would ever get better.

_Would we ever get better? _

"Your muscles twisted." She said brining me back from my momentary daze.

"Untwist it." Lee said.

"Hold him." Karina instructed him.

"I won't move." I told looking her dead in the eyes.

She eyed me and nodded.

"Want me to numb you? I have needles in the car."

_I hate needles. _

"Just do it."

"Mmm kay." Karina said and I felt her thumb dig into the center of the back of my thigh and then her other thumb and index finger pinched a muscle on top of another. I groaned in pain and misery. I felt as though she had just taken a rusty dull saw and started to amputate my leg off.

The feelings blended together, and her movements were no longer discrete. I felt everything as a whole instead of single movements. I did not feel what else she did, but I had a good idea; she separated two muscles and put pressure on the center muscle right above my bone to get the endorphins and adrenalin rushing for a faster recovery.

Faster recover also meant intensified feeling in anything that touched my leg.

_What I wouldn't do for some pain killers… _

I saw her hands rubbing the back of my thigh but all I felt was an indescribable vibrating sting.

"How's your shoulder?" She asked me.

"Better." I lied.

She pretended to believe me.

"I don't think I can move it yet." I said looking down at my leg.

"I have crutches in the back." Lee said as Karina unstraddled me and sat next to me. She was examining me – what she was looking for, I had no idea.

"Jon's already getting them out." Karina said. I didn't notice when she told Jon to, or if she even did. I must have looked worse than I thought I did. That or I wasn't paying enough attention to my surroundings. Either option resulted in me mentally cursing myself for being so transparently weak.

"Okay, let's drag you over to the car." Lee said lifting my arm over his shoulder. Karina copied the action on the other side.

"Renee's going to be pissed." I said as they pulled me up. I leaned more weight on Lee than Karina since he was closer to my height.

They slowly walked me back where everyone's was parked. I had lost balance at least five times before we arrived at the boardwalk. My mother was wearing her gray yoga suit with her arms crossed and leaning on the hood of her black Mercedes Benz.

_Stupid car. _

Phil got it for her. I hate Phil, therefore I hate that car.

"Do you have any idea what time it is?!" She nearly lounged herself at me like a jaguar about to attack it's pray.

_Yea mom, I'm fine thanks for asking. _

"Your flight leaves in 2 hours! It takes almost an hour and a half to get to the airport!" She continued ranting. Jon handed me the crutches and I took them into their usual position. It felt better to lean on the wooden sticks than my friends. I hated to feel like a burden.

"Karina can get me there in an hour." I said giving my mother the death stare. I wasn't going to put up with her bullshit.

"Half an hour." Lee muttered.

"Oh, so that's how it is. So you make me miss yoga for nothing?" Renee put her arms on her hips. She looked absolutely ridiculous. Like a teenager who just got told that they couldn't go to the school dance.

_Don't worry about me…I'm not in excruciating pain or anything. _

"Get your shit out of my car." Renee's frowned at me. She just jumped from anger to disappointment in two seconds flat. Neither reaction bothered me. I saw Lee obey her command and walk towards Renee's trunk.

"Sorry." I muttered. I didn't mean it, but I just had a need to say it.

"You are going to drive Charlie crazy you know that?" Renee said. Tears were forming in the corner of her eyes.

_Fucking pick an emotion and stick with it you crazy woman. _

"Oh, baby. I'm going to miss you so much." She said grabbing me into a tight hug. She had nearly thrown me off my balance. I grunted trying my best not to push her off.

Did the crutches not mean a thing to her?

"Okay, okay. I want you to make sure to help out with housework and help Charlie with anything he asks. And don't start arguments with him. Oh god, look at you. Pajama pants! What are you thinking?!" Renee said letting me go as she began to sob with one hand covering her mouth.

She looked like an actress in a soap-opera.

I rolled my eyes.

"I'll change in the airport." I said.

"You are so irresponsible." She whispered shaking her head side to side.

I could read what she was thinking in her eyes.

She wished she never had a son. She always wanted a daughter that she could relate and play with. Instead she got a violent, constantly breaking, arrogant, detached, monstrous son. It was so obvious in the way Renee acted towards the girls in our neighborhood. She wanted them to belong to her; she wanted an emotional, soft, gentle, kind, sweet angel as a daughter. Hell, I think she wanted any type of daughter as long as it wasn't a boy….as long as it wasn't me.

"Mom, just go to yoga. I'll call you when I land." I said trying to wobble past her. She stopped me with her hand on my chest.

"So that's all I get? Raise you for 16 years and now you're leaving me."

_You're the one who left me the moment you met Phil. _

Once we got along, not well but enough to where she didn't have to fake being happy around me. But now she had Phil. Phil made her happy, I made her miserable.

"Miss. Swan." Karina said softly, she would never refer to her with her new surname. "We have to get going if we're going to be there on time."

"Fine. Fine. Fine." Renee said throwing her hands in the air.

She was over acting and seeking attention and it wasn't working. Not with me, not with my friends…only with Phil.

I already allowed her to get rid of me; I no longer had to please her. She should be able to sleep well knowing I'm stuck in a rendition of a green hell, doing absolutely nothing but losing my last ounce of sanity.

She dropped her hand from my chest and turned around, sliding out of the circle of my friends and went into her car. She pulled out and drove away without another word, I wasn't sure if she was looking at me or not – I wasn't looking at her.

"Sweet goodbye." Jesse gave a low whistle.

"Edward get the fuck out of here. Karina, exit 8, 32, and 55 has cops on watch." Lee said appearing behind me.

I turned and began to walk like a cripple towards the front seat of Karina's Jeep.

"Everyone else get in my car." Lee instructed.

"Oh wait!" Karina said jumping between us.

I saw her flinch and I wasn't sure if it was real or not.

She did a graceful skip to the back of Lee's car and opened it and I heard her shuffle items.

"Oh that's right." Jesse said. "Presents."

"What?" I asked.

"Going away gifts." Lee replied. "Don't worry I didn't get you shit." He lied.

Karina came back around with an armful of gifts and a black bag.

"I can't carry pot or alcohol with me on the plane." I said and Boris took grabbed the black bag from Karina. "Security will stop me if I try to carry weapons." Jon and Jesse removed two boxes from the side.

Karina was left with only 3 wrapped packages; two in some purple and blue motif and the other black with a red ribbon.

"You're all idiots." Karina said and handed them to me. I lifted my eyebrow and she rolled her eyes when she realized I wouldn't be able to hold them and walk. "Get your ass in the car." She said walking around the back of the car. She got into the front seat and absentmindedly tossed the presents in the back.

_Nothing fragile. _

Jon, Jesse, and Boris went into Lee's car.

We all sucked at saying goodbyes, but we were all thinking it.

Lee opened the passenger's seat door for me. Before he closed it he whispered, "Don't get soft on me, man."

"I won't." I said and I knew he believed me. I didn't ask the same of him because I hoped that he would.

_I'll always be a monster – forever. _

Karina put the keys into the ignition and we took off.

When she got on the highway, pushing at 150 miles per hour; she finally spoke.

"I had a fucked up dream last night." She said.

"Oh?" I asked.

She cut someone off.

"I dreamt that I was being buried alive in the sand."

"We did kinda wake up with that shit all over us." I reasoned.

"No, I mean 6 feet under buried."

"Don't take it to heart." I said and she swerved to the right lane to cut someone else off.

"It felt real." She said. "It was like the grim reaper was burying me."

"Please, you'd be the one burying the grim reaper." I said not understanding why a death dream was such a big deal. "Heh. Exit 8 coming up." I reminded her.

Her speed slowly decreased to a reasonable 60 miles per hour.

"Do you have a car for Forks?" She asked.

"No, but I have money saved up from the Tournaments."

"I've wasted every penny." She said speeding up again.

_Probably all on needles…_

"I haven't spent a dime."

"Damn. That's enough to pay for a year at Harvard."

"Enough to get a car." I chuckled. None of us would go to college and all the money we saved up would just collect interest and dust.

"Will you get a phone?" She asked cutting someone else off before reaching 120 miles per hour in the left lane.

"Depends, you plan to call?" I teased.

"Go fuck yourself." She replied edging towards 150 miles per hour. She glanced at me; "What do you think will happen with the team?"

"Eyes on the road." I said. "You'll hold try-outs, probably get to abuse some newbie fighters for a month or two till you find someone with some skill and then shit goes back to normal. You know Lee is just as good as me."

"You don't think we'll fall apart?" She asked.

"Fuck no. You're getting so good with pressure points and Lee will replace me easily. Boris shows a ton of promise as long as you don't break him before he's ready. Jon and Jesse are pros at our shit."

"I'm scared Lee will fall apart without you." She said.

"Lee will be fine without me. Stop getting into so many fights and give him a break."

She cut someone off in the middle lane and changed back to the left lane. "Do you really think I get into those fights on purpose?" She asked.

"You want to say you don't?" I asked as I leaned my head against the window.

She didn't respond.

"Cops coming up." I reminded her as she slowed down and followed the twist in the road. The sun blared through my window and warmed me in a way that only it could. The warmth was something I'd miss. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the moment.

She eventually increased her speed again and we drove in silence.

We were only 40 miles away from the airport when she cleared her throat.

"Can I ask something?" She asked.

"Mmm hmm." I said not lifting my head off the glass to look at her.

"If you're able to be happy. In Sporks I mean." She cleared her throat. "Stay there. I mean, like, if you can live a normal life. You know, not have freaks for friends. Stay there. Don't join the Marines."

I opened my eyes to look at her and laughed.

"Do you believe a word you're saying?" I asked.

"Maybe."

"That's like me telling you not to join the Marines if you find someone who doesn't piss in their pants at the sight of you."

"I'll probably be dead before I graduate." She said in the most serious tone I ever heard her speak.

"Oh come on. You don't need me to protect you. Lee and Jon will have your back." I knew that Lee would not let her get hurt. She was just over exaggerating.

_Worried over nothing. _

She turned to me and gave me a smile. "And Boris and Jesse."

"Eyes on the road." I grunted.

"I have a whole crew of knights in shining armor!" She said adding a squeal at the end.

I couldn't keep from chuckling at her. "Dark Knights." I corrected.

"Mmm hmm." She nodded her head.

I turned on the radio to some classical station.

"Does Charlie have a piano?" She asked as we listened to Mozart's Flute and Harp concerto.

"No." I said sighing.

"I'll get you one." I said grinning. "For your birthday."

"Haha. Just like how you got me a new engine?"

"Okay, how the fuck was I suppose to know it was a scooter engine. And why the fuck do scooters have engines?"

"Your birthday presents are always the worst." I said laughing.

"Okay, you know what. Fuck you and your perfect present buying skills." Karina said with a voice warning me that she was about to attack me if I did sugar coat the situation.

"I love the cakes you bake me." I said honestly lifting my head from the glass to look at her and give her a genuine smile.

That calmed her down and she smiled.

Her cakes sucked.

_Badly. _

But they looked good.

And she spent nearly the whole week preparing for it…so everyone would shove it down their throats and smile. Then barf like professional bulimics in the bathroom when she wasn't paying attention.

She got off the next exit that twisted to the private airport highway. She took a left at the sign that read; "Departure".

"Record time. 28 minutes." She said pulling up to Gate 8.

"I'll get the stuff." She said taking the keys out of the ignition. "Get the needles."

"I'm not a fucking cripple." I said.

"Go suck a duck." She replied jumping out of the car and slamming the door closed. She grabbed a luggage cart that someone left a few feet away from the gate entrance. I watched as she unloaded my duffle bags and placed the presents on top. With an angered sigh, I opened the leather compartment in between my legs and got out a small black pouch that jingled as I placed it on my lap. It was filled with hundreds of different sized needles.

If I would have protested enough, she wouldn't do it…but the weakness, and the pain…I couldn't bare it much longer. I didn't want to arrive to Forks damaged.

She opened the passenger's door and grabbed my crutches from me. She placed them up against the car door and then turned her attention back to me. I handed her the needle pouch and she opened it on my lap and fingered for the right needles.

All the needles were either pure silver, white gold, or platinum. They were all different sizes and different lengths, and some had a tiny numb at the end to be able to pull them out easier. Karina didn't use those on herself. We'd all be able to tell then.

"How many do you have inside you?" I asked.

"A few." She said holding up a small thick needle, with a little round numb at the end, towards the sunlight. She placed it in her left hand and looked for another one. The second needle she picked was as thin as a toothpick but as long as a pen.

"These are made of platinum; they won't go off in security." She said closing the pouch and tossed it on top of the driver's seat. "Drop your pants." She instructed me.

"Oh baby." I teased.

"Puh-lease." She said rolling her eyes. "Before I paralyze you."

I lifted my hips up and pushed my worn out black pajama pants to my knees to reveal my silk blue boxers. It hurt to move, but in a few moments I knew it would be over so with a clenched jaw I bared the movements.

She placed her left hand on the tip of my boxers and rolled them up, exposing my battered left thigh to her. People who passed stared in awe.

_Idiots. _

"Don't you dare smirk." She warned as she leaned closer over my lap to my thigh.

It was cute how she didn't want to look like she was giving me a blow job.

"Look of horror it is." I replied and she stabbed the needle into the center of my thigh. "Fucking A."

"That's for being a jackass."

"Shit Karina, it burns."

"It'll keep the muscles from twisting while you're walking. This is to numb it." She said lifting up my thigh and massaging under it; trying to find the spot. I felt a soft prick and all the pain in my leg disappeared.

"Could have fucking numbed it first." I spoke through closed teeth.

I looked down at my thigh; I saw the metallic round little numb sticking out of my skin. I'd have to pop it out like a pimple later.

"Okay we're done." She said turning away from me as I lifted my pants back onto my waist. I got out of the car with ease.

_Jesus, I can walk again. _

If normal's had any idea what needles were capable of, hospitals would be out of business.

"You should have done that sooner." I said as I stretched up on my toes and lifted my arms over my head. My shoulder snapped but my arm demonstrated no pain to being lifted up. It felt so good to be fixed.

"You shouldn't be so pussy to us and show some pain."

"Says the one with one." I replied.

"Shut the hell up and leave already."

I grabbed her and pulled her close to me into a tight embrace. I felt her pinch my shoulder blade and push her thumb into my muscle.

"Can't keep your hands off me?" I asked as we broke the hug.

Karina looked up at me and I had a sudden urge to pet her head like a little puppy. She looked so innocent except for the scraps on her face, and the bruises covered by her clothes. She looked nearly normal.

I smirked watching her eye me closely in silence. She brought her right hand up to my bruised cheek and gently stroked it. "How are you going to explain it?" I didn't flinch from her touch.

"A crazy girl beat the shit out of me in the middle of the night in an abandoned army base."

"Har har." She retracted her hand and crossed her chest.

"You responsible for my stomach bruise too?"

"Nah, that's Lee's work. Jon caused the shoulder pain." She smirked.

"Hmm, then I guess I'll tell everyone a crazy girl and her psycho brother beat the shit out of me then."

"Oh, don't make yourself sound like the victim. I'm the one with a broken rib, thank you."

She must have had at least 20 needles in her side to keep the pain dulled and realign the bone. I didn't like that she did that.

"My work?" I asked.

"Yeap." She smiled. "Oh, god! Leave already before I paralyze you and throw you in the fucking trunk."

"You're the one keeping me here." I replied.

"Don't kill anyone." She said turning her back on me and walking back into the driver's seat leaving me with my cart of presents and luggage.

I did a lazy wave and she threw me the middle finger as she drove away.

I was left alone.

All a-fucking-lone. Everyone was going to be drowning themselves in beer and alcohol the rest of the day, and I'd be on a plane heading to another world.

I'd be an alien.

I went through the revolving doors and walked on the white marble floors till the lines for JetBlue appeared. I leaned over my cart and got my ticket out of the corner pocket of my duffle bag as I waited in line.

Watching all the normal people.

Shuffling around.

Moving.

Tapping their feet.

Talking about useless things like the weather.

Playing video games on their phones.

Some of them turned around to look at me.

Then turn again to whisper something about me.

_As if they understand…_

I remained motionless like a statue.

_No…I'll never fit in. _

* * *

Thank you very much for reading; let me know what you think :)

Bella's PoV next!

This story has so much upcoming drama...I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about it! hehe. I hope your enjoying it :)


	6. Under Control

Bella's PoV

Finally. Over. All over. He broke me.

_I've been cracked. _

_I've been damaged. _

_I've been weakened. _

Finally.

But Aro still refused to kill me. Instead he sent me away. He no longer had a use for me…so he sent me back to Carlisle…because he knew…

He fucking knew.

I would never do anything to endanger my family.

He knew that.

Emmett didn't come for me this time. He couldn't. He'd lose Rosalie if he did. Rosalie was his love and I was…

_Why won't Aro fucking kill me!? _

He never left my side these past 3 years, holding my hand as he experimented. The images of his pale arms wrapped around me flashed before me. His devil red eyes stared at me with anger, interest, lust and hatred. Those eyes…I despised them almost as much as his touch.

I took my seat in the private jet. It had only had seats for 4, and I was the only guest. Unless you count the delicious human pilot who was preparing for takeoff and the succulent stewardess who was walking towards me.

_She knows. _

I gritted my teeth together. I feasted only on humans while in Italy and at that moment, to my monstrous instincts, she looked like food. I ignored the short black skirt she wore that showed off her beautifully long legs, and her long black raven hair. Her blood was…

_Delicious. _

_Sweet. _

_Juicy. _

_Food. _

She leaned over towards my chair. "Can I get you anything Miss. Cullen?" Her voice was sugar to my ears as she tried to seduce me. Her warm breath hit my marble face, and her body heat was inches away from touching me. Her blood flowed in the rhythmic pattern of her heart beat.

**Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump**

_She's begging for it…_

I shook my head slowly from side to side. If I would have opened my mouth, it wouldn't have been to speak; it would have been to drain the blood out of her.

"Are you sure? Aro instructed me." She leaned in closer and I turned my head towards the small oval window that looked out into the darkness. My reflection looked back at me. Those devil red eyes.

_Those murderous eyes. _

_Those monstrous eyes. _

"He told me to make you as comfortable as possible." She purred in my ear.

I crossed my hands and gripped my elbows with my strong fingers.

_I will not move. _

_I will not breathe. _

_I will not look at her. _

I heard her give a soft moan followed by a sigh as she straightened and walked away.

She wanted to be one of them.

_One of us. _

My fingers squeezed my arms tighter.

_Don't fucking move. _

_Aro wants it. _

_He wants you to kill her. _

_To prove that you don't belong with Carlisle. _

_To prove you are just like them. _

_Don't move. _

_Don't move. _

The eyes that I wished didn't belong to me stared into my soulless face. I swallowed the lustful poison that was drowning my tongue with desire.

It stung.

"We will be departing in 3 minutes. Estimated Arrival time is 3 P.M at Forks Municipal Airport in Clallam County."

Her voice ran through the speakers above my head.

_I will not kill her. _

_I will not kill her. _

_I will not kill her. _

Aro wanted to break me. I wanted to be killed.

Aro wanted to experiment on me. I wanted to be killed.

Aro wanted me to kill her. I wanted to be killed.

I was not going to continue spoiling that black haired floating devil-angel.

I made Aro happy a month ago. I thrilled him. He was as giddy as a human child with an unlimited supply of candy bars.

I closed my eyes, unable to stare at my reflection and preferring the solitude of my gray eyelids, as I recalled the memories to life.

We sat in an empty pastel olive colored room, which had nothing but soft pink limestone floors that traced ancient cracks into a web motif. I sat in middle with Aro's thin needle like fingers piercing the gaps of mine. His hand did not fit with mine; his fingers were to thin and long.

For 3 years, 1095 days – Vampire after vampire would enter and try to break down, what Aro referred to as, my shield. Till finally, someone did it. Aro discovered someone more powerful than I was…and she was in his coven all along.

Jane had tried to cause me pain 40 years ago when I went to Italy with Emmett and Alice for the first time to met the great Volturi coven Carlisle told us so much about.

_Damn our curiosity. _

_Damn it to hell. _

Our curiosity lead to Aro's curiosity of me after Jane failed to harm me mentally. He wanted Alice, he welcomed Emmett, and he needed to break me.

I was a threat.

And Aro needed to take me away to keep his power secure.

He asked me to join him, I denied.

He asked me to visit him when he'd call – he promised never to pull me away from my coven longer than a week at a time, I accepted.

I was stupid.

This three year visit of mine – he did not call for me. I went myself. After harming a human in Forks, and blinding Alice into darkness…I had no right to stay with the family. Emmett no longer wanted me. Carlisle and Esme would have begged to stay…but I didn't give them a chance.

I ran away to Aro.

I made a deal with him.

"Aro, I want to make a deal." My voice echoed in my mind.

He looked up at me, with his ruby red eyes staring into face. He examined me, and then motioned his thin fingers at me to continue.

"I will be yours until you break me."

"On the condition of?" He asked in his soprano voice that rang evil from vowel to continent.

"You give Rosalie over to my family for eternity."

"Rosalie?" He asked. The lust was in his voice. He enjoyed having her as a pet. She was his personal sex slave; more so than his own wife. I had heard she the most beautiful vampire in the world – I only hoped Aro's desire for power was greater than his sexual desire.

"Yes." I said.

"Until I break you?"

"Until you break me." I confirmed.

And then he took my hand…and didn't let go until Jane arrived to seek revenge on me 3 years later.

Innocent looking Jane, carrying her adolescent youth with her and a face too pretty to belong to a child. Her wide black blood thirsty eyes glared at me and her puffy lips spread into a smile as she approached me.

She cracked me. She broke me. She attacked me with such power that I had screamed and traveled under the realms of insanity, where nothing matter but the pain. The pain that she would not stop inflicting upon me. The terrible pain that surrounded my mind and spread to every part of my body. As I screamed Aro laughed and giggled joyously as he read the inner workings of my mind.

Reading, deciphering, understanding.

He saw that I had nothing to live for.

He saw what my existence did to Alice, and how Emmett never loved me.

He saw my innermost thoughts and all my desires.

And most of all, he saw that I would never put my family in harm's way.

Then he went deeper into my mind, into my unconscious mind. Learning things, I had yet to learn, and seeing things I did never noticed I saw.

Jane's attack on me had last days, she would not stop till Aro's laughter finally calmed into a small chuckle. I still screamed, even after she stopped, the pain still felt real. The after effects were as devastating as the initial blast from her. Aro's needle like fingers escaped mine as he picked up Jane into his arms, they both had smiles plastered on their faces, and then they left me screaming in the room. My pain, my insecurity, my defenselessness did not bother them. It enthralled them. It excited them.

_Fucking bastards. _

They had left me in there till my screams suspended and till I was able to regain control over my mind and body…and how long that lasted I'll never truly know.

Aro had something that could destroy me.

He had no need for me anymore.

Yet he still refused to kill me.

_Still…_

_Not alive…_

_Not dead…_

_At a threshold. _

The jet began to ride down the runway, preparing for takeoff.

I opened my eyes and kept them glued to the window. Staring out at the night sky; trying hard to ignore my reflection staring back at me.

"Kill me!" I shouted at Aro when he was walking down the dark underground corridors with Sulpicia; his wife. She wore the same black robe that Aro did, but her hood was up and I could only see two red diamonds staring at me.

"Oh, no my precious child. Why would I do that?" Aro asked as he brought his wife closer to him. To me, it looked as though he was using her as a shield.

"You promised!"

"No, no, no. I promised to give you Rosalie. And I did. I am a man of my word my dear." Aro chuckled pressing his lips on the hood of Sulpicia's head.

"Fine. I'll go kill a few hundred humans than! In fucking broad daylight!" I said turning around. "See how you deal with that shit Aro!" I shouted.

Aro instantly appeared in front of me. Even my vampire eyes could not see his speed, but I had starved myself of human blood since Jane's attack and was weak.

"You do that." He began, inches away from me and he leaned closer with every word, "I will kill your precious mother and father. Carlisle and Esme will die because of you." He brought his thumb and index finger to my chin and lifted my face up to stare directly into his. "Then I will torture your sweet Emmett with the death of that slut. Then I will kill him. And next, oh…hahahahhahaa." He brought his face into mine, his lips pressed tightly against mine as he whispered, "and next I will rape little Alice over and over and over. I will drive her insane with Jane and make Alec put her in total isolated darkness. And I will not kill her, no. I will make her suffer till any sense of reality she has is so twisted that she behaves like a little dog whose lost its hind legs and has to crawl." He whispered the last words darkly and slowly removed his lips from mine. "Do you still want to die precious?" He chuckled.

I didn't need to answer.

The stewardess broke me from my memories. She made the whole jet reek of her by walking, and I squeezed my arms tighter. I could not allow myself the luxury of movement or breathing.

She bent over, her hands went on my arm rest and her face was inches away from my turned face. "Is there anything I can do for you Miss. Cullen?"

I did not reply.

She moved her lips towards my neck, and I could feel the shivers spread across her body as she felt my frozen skin. She moaned as she tried to suck on my skin. She was really getting off on it – I could feel the wetness of her sex.

She licked from my neck up to my ear. Her warm tongue was enticing me, pushing me to the edge.

"You know you want a snack." She said moaning into my ear and taking my earlobe between her teeth.

_How could you offer yourself to me so easily?! _

_You have a heart. _

_You have innocence. _

_You have a soul. _

I wanted her so badly...I wanted to feel her juices on my tongue and flow down my throat as I sucked her dry.

I needed her.

I needed human blood.

My red eyes demanded it.

She took my earlobe into her mouth and began to suck on it.

_No. _

_No. _

_No. _

My hand reached out towards her, and I barely made an effort to move her away from me but she went flying from my gentle thrust up against the seat opposite mine. Her head bashed against the wall, and I was grateful there was no signs of blood or else I would have certainly given her what she desired.

I had knocked her unconscious and that was satisfying. I continued to look out the window for the remainder of the flight. My mind wandered everywhere, never staying on one thing for longer than a second. No thought was pleasant enough to stray on for too long.

When the plane landed, the stewardess was still not awake. I walked down the isle of the jet, careful to keep my eyes away from her helpless body.

I walked out of the plane, unsure what to expect – I didn't know if Aro informed my family of my return or if I would have to somehow run home and somehow avoid all the tantalizingly delicate human beings.

Then I laid my eyes, while I gracefully walked down the stairs, at the woman I gave my life away to. She was stunning. She wore tight dark blue jeans with a matching jean jacket. Even in such simple clothes, her beauty made it look like she wore royal dresses. Absolutely breathtaking. A life size playboy Barbie doll.

_Rosalie. _

Her beautiful blonde hair blew in the wind causing her to look fragile. Weak. Innocent. Her beautiful plump lips were stained a permanent red and stayed puckered as her golden eyes watched me approach her and her lover.

"Bella!" Emmett shouted at me, letting go of his hold of Rosalie and ran towards me with his vampire speed.

He gripped me by the waist and lifted me up as he twirled me around into a big bear hug. I didn't move, I just let him hug me as though I were an inanimate object. He was as tall and big as away. The dimples that formed on his face when he smiled almost made me want to smile with him. I missed him.

"I missed you. I missed you so much. Oh Bella." He said placing kisses all over my cheeks and burying his head into my neck he took a deep breath of my now foreign scent.

When I used to leave to Italy it would only be for a week or two, once it was a month…but this time it was three years. I gave my life to Aro for his games in exchange for Emmett to have Rosalie.

Aro had no use with my life anymore.

Emmett got to keep Rosalie forever.

And I was no longer needed by anyone.

"How are you doing?" Emmett put me down.

I nodded in response. I could not speak because I had no air in my lungs, and I would not take a breath of air that was filled with the scent of humans.

He took me by the hand and gently guided me towards Rosalie who stood behind a black B.M.W sports looking car. It was Esme's car.

I looked at Rosalie but she only stared at me with those puckered lips and blank golden eyes.

_Hello to you too. _

_Why, you're welcome for saving you from an eternity as a sex slave to the Volturi. _

_Oh, I'm so happy you're happy with Emmett._

_Why yes, it is nice to meet you too! _

_I hope we can be the best of friends. _

I had a sarcastic internal conversation with her in my head. Of course she said nothing, just stared at me, judging me and I could not even say anything to her if I wanted to.

"Rosalie, my love." Emmett said putting his arm around my waist while leading me towards her. "This is Bella."

She nodded.

I nodded.

_I hate you. _

I was surprised how quickly I disliked her.

"She's a little shy." Emmett whispered to me as he grabbed Rosalie's hand and led us towards the car. The whisper was useless; Rosalie's ears would catch it anyway.

Emmett sat in the driver's seat, Rosalie in the passenger's and me in the back. I saw him glance at Rosalie and it was as if his eyes came to life for that moment.

He glowed with love.

I took a small breath, and smelled blood.

Emmett noticed. "We went hunting yesterday. There are a few bottles in the back if you're hungry. Mountain lion." Emmett said putting the keys in the ignition.

I looked under my feet and there were Pomegranate bottles filled with animal blood. I picked one up, and with as little amount of strength as I could muster – twisted the cap off. I was proud at that moment that I could manage to fake human strength. I quickly downed the contents. The taste was bitter but bearable.

Animal blood was like stale bread. You could still eat it. But the warm, fresh out of the oven bread was the crème-de-la-crème.

And I wanted to warm, soft, sweet, juicy blood of humans.

I hated myself for wanting it so badly and picked up another bottle and did the same to it.

I willed myself to take in a deeper breath and finally spoke. "I can't be around them."

"We figured. First day of school is tomorrow, but Esme spoke with the secretary about some B.S flight problems. You're scheduled to make an appearance next week."

"One week to get over the thirst of ripping a human apart and drinking their blood. Fun." I said crossing my arms staring at Rosalie's seat as I spoke.

I wanted to know what she sounded like.

"Alice saw you coming." Emmett said stopping at a red light and turning around to look at me. He gave me a big smile, and it wasn't only his dimples that made me want to smile back this time.

I was shocked, I breathed again.

_Alice saw me? _

"Really?"

"Yea, she saw some other things too. But she saw you coming and that's the important thing right?"

"Green light." I replied and Emmett turned around again and as he got on the highway he went over the speed limit by at least 100 miles.

_Alice saw me. _

_Alice saw me!_

_ALICE SAW ME! _

_Maybe I can get close to her again…_

_Without blinding her. _

_Maybe I can be friends with her again. _

_Maybe I can tell her how much I love her. _

_And kiss her. _

_And be like how it used to be before my shield got too strong. _

"Esme is so excited that your back." Emmett broke me from my thoughts. "She was so heartbroken when you left so soon."

"Rosalie, how do you like Forks?" I asked.

Silence.

She didn't even acknowledge my question.

"Alice is preparing your room right now." Emmett continued as he got off the highway.

"Preparing?"

"We kind of renovated." Emmett said following the twisted road to our neighborhood. "Well Esme did almost all the work. And Rosalie and Alice worked on the garden."

"Em, gas honey." Rosalie spoke softly, and her voice sounded like birds singing. I fell in love with it.

"Oh, crap. Bella, do you think you'll be okay if we stop at a gas station? We can leave the car here and run home if you don't breathe." Emmett said making a left.

"I'll be fine." I said.

"Are you sure?" Emmett asked. "Shit, I'm sorry I should have gotten gas before we came to pick you up. Just when Alice saw….I got too excited."

"No problem. I'll hold my breath." I said taking an exaggerated deep breath and grabbed another bottle from between my legs. There were only 2 more left. I opened it slowly and gently – like as if I wanted to touch a feather without ruffling it, and drank down the contents.

Eventually Emmett pulled into a gas station. "I'll be right back ladies." He said as he got out of the car and shut the door.

Then another door opened, it was Rosalie's – she got out of the car.

_Figures, she doesn't want to stay in here with me. _

Then she opened the back seat door and climbed in and sat next to me. I stared at her in disbelief as I closed my empty bottle and placed it next to me.

_She was so…so…beautiful. _

Then in vampire speed she leaned into me, and for some reason I leaned into her.

We kissed.

She tasted delicious. Almost as good as Alice did. Our venom mixed with one another as our kiss deepened. And I pushed into her, she pushed back. My hands were on her waist and her hands were on the jaw line of my face.

I had no idea how attracted I was to her.

Then just as soon as our kiss started, it ended just as abruptly.

If I was human, I'd be panting for air.

We both stared out into opposite windows.

"Thank you. Thank you so much Isabella." She spoke, and her voice hypnotized me.

"Bella." I whispered to her.

"Thank you Bella." She corrected herself.

I turned my head to look at her, and she turned hers. Our eyes met.

Yellow staring and Red.

"Thank you for making Emmett happy." I said and she smiled.

We were friends.

The door opened and our eyes shot towards Emmett. "Ahh, ladies want to have some girl time I see." He said as he got into the car. "Everything under control Bella?" He asked as he turned on the car and drove off.

I forgot that I wanted to eat humans. I glanced at Rosalie who was staring at Emmett with pure love in her eyes.

"Everything's under control." I replied.

* * *

Yay! We finally have "something" of a plot going!

Also there will be some girl on girl action, I know this story is not for everyone...but in my opinion vampires are lustful creatures, and Rosalie was a sex slave for an unknown amount of years, and Alice is "single".

Anyway, thank you for reading, and I truly hope you have enjoyed the story so far. :) Let me know what you think :)


	7. Basket full of cookies

**A/N:** Yes, I updated...I love you all who have kept this story under alert or favorite. Seriously…I love you. Finally taking this story off hiatus. There will be two PoV's in this chapter so please take notice of the switch.

* * *

Esme PoV

I placed the strawberry scented candle on the coffee table in the kitchen and lit it carefully with a lighter. The smell violated my nostrils immediately and I had to stop breathing. Bella was the only one who enjoyed strawberry scented things…The only smell I enjoyed was the one that came from the ground after a rainstorm; everyone else in our family could care less about enjoying scents.

I forced myself to take a deep breath, making sure that the scent over powered all other's in the room. I hoped that it would aid Bella in her battle of the hunger for human blood. At least, I hoped, it would be less tempting to her when her sense of smell was distracted by strawberries.

I went into our refrigerator – a human prop I kept around for the occasional human visit, and took out a bowl of strawberries. I opened the lid of the bowl and could almost see the air change with the dispersing of scents.

I took a breath and regretted it once more so I stopped breathing.

The scent was slightly repulsive to me, but this was for Bella – not me.

Slowly, I went into the top cupboard and got out 3 small blue Chinese porcelain bowls that were given as a gift to Carlisle last year by an Asian patient. I filled the bowls up with strawberries and placed one on the dining room table in the kitchen and walked into the living room and placed the second on the coffee table. Silently, I walked up the marble stairs to the third floor of our large mansion house.

I enjoyed moving at human pace more than anyone else in our family. Emmett was always aggravated at having to pretend to be a human and Rosalie bared it with a locked jaw. Alice, on the other hand, claimed that she slipped up often but was always able to stop herself because of her sweet little gift. My sweet husband, Carlisle, had long perfected his human-vampire interaction and he was the most believable Homo-Saipan out of all of us.

I came up to Bella's door and before I could give a soft knock Alice chirped, "Come in."

I opened the door and watched Alice rearranging Bella's closet at vampire speeds. That explained why the FedEx van was here earlier this morning unloading boxes on top of boxes.

"Must you go so crazy darling. You're making me nervous." I told her as I settled Bella's strawberries on her nightstand.

Bella's room was the simplest room of the whole house; I had done my best to keep it that way during her leave. There was a simple blue coach, covered with a brand new silk spread and a dozen throw pillows, in the middle of the room. Scattered all over it, were random clothes that Alice hadn't gotten to organizing yet.

There were no windows on the walls but instead Bella had knocked out her roof and put in a sunroof so she could watch the skies. I enjoyed walking in on Bella when she would read and the sun would hit her so perfectly that she looked like a shimmering angel.

Her three walls were covered with bookshelves, all filled with Bella's favorites. Bella had published a few books under different aliases but those were in the library room on the left wing of the house. I sometimes believed that Bella was ashamed of her works, which I always found very impressive. I had memorized everything she had ever written to the public and read her books weekly when she was gone.

I missed her so dearly.

Alice turned around to give me a quick smile and rushed towards me. Her vision of Bella's coming last week had lifted her spirits to new heights. "I can see her right now." She whispered softly as her golden eyes stared into mine, but I knew she was looking at another where and when.

I leaned down and placed a kiss on her forehead. "How long?" I whispered.

"Five minutes and twenty-two seconds. Rosalie and her are getting along and I don't see Bella going after any humans. Her hunger seems to be under control."

"Red eyes?" I asked. I knew it was a redundant question, obviously Bella fed on humans in Italy but a part of me wanted to believe she'd come home with yellow eyes.

Alice nodded.

"Damn that Aro to hell." I muttered under my breath in anger and frustration.

Bella had never harmed a human until she met Aro. She desired them like the rest of us, but she loved them in a way. She loved them so deeply that she wanted to fit in with them. She did not want to be like them, but she wanted to fit in…to be accepted by them, to be liked by them, but something about our appearance begged for humans to stay away.

"Hell is too sweet for that man." Alice replied walking back to the closet at human speed but then suddenly she stopped and gave a soft moan.

"Alice?" I asked, quickly coming to her side.

"That's strange." She muttered.

"What is?" I asked putting my hands on her shoulders, ready to comfort and protect her from anything the best way I could.

She turned her head to face me, confusion was written all over her stone-perfect face. "Edward Swan." She said.

"Who?" I was perplexed.

"I don't know. I just heard his name. The voice sounds so familiar. Edward…Edward…Oh." She closed her eyes for a moment while her vision played out. "I see."

I waited a moment and asked, "What do you see?"

"He's a new kid." Alice stated opening up her eyes and flashed me a reassuring smile that told me not to worry.

My hands fell to my sides as Alice moved back inside the closet and began to fix one of the dresses on a hanger.

"Human?" I asked walking towards the bed and began to fold the clothes that still had tags on them.

"I believe so. I don't know him and it's a bit hard to see…I don't know why I saw him in the first place." She said turning around to me. "But I can almost smell his blood. It's unbearable. It's like he's bleeding right in front of me. Ugh." Alice said rubbing her temples.

"Oh honey." I felt so terrible for my dear daughter sometimes. I often wished there was something I could do but sadly I was not gifted with any special abilities to help others. "I can light some more candles if you'd like. That might drown out the smell."

"It's alright. It's gone." She replied grabbing some shirts I folded and placed them in the drawers inside the closet. "I just didn't expect the vision to be so vivid, is all. Very much annoying but…" Alice added with a shrug.

I folded and she placed them in the drawers till the coach was clean and then Alice let out a sigh as she looked around the room, "Mom?"She asked closing her eyes.

"Yes?" I held my hand out to her.

"Do you think Bella and I will ever find someone? Someone that's like Carlisle to you or Rose to Em."

"Yes, dear. I honestly believe so."

"I keep looking, but I can't see anyone. Instead I get the high school new kid." Alice said pouting as she opened her eyes once more.

"Maybe he's the one." I said grinning.

"Hah! Esme, he's not my type. His hair looks so untamed." Alice replied with a laugh and then faked a shiver of disgust. "Gross!" She squeaked. "92 seconds!" She replied rushing past me so quickly I was surprised by her speed.

Alice was extremely fast when she became giddy.

Quickly, I followed her down the stairs and into the hallway where Carlisle was already waiting with a gentle smile plastered across his face. My husband did not show off his emotions as the rest of our family did, he always kept a calm exterior but even a blind person would see the sorrow he experienced when Bella left. I walked towards him as Alice paced back and forth across the room. She was so excited that she could barely contain herself.

I grabbed Carlisle hand and we exchanged a soft kiss. We weren't much for displaying our affection but I could feel it seeping out of his every pour. He loved me and I loved him. Emmett and Rosalie on the other hand would make love in the middle of Main Street on a Sunday morning in front of a church without a care.

Like a soft whisper, I could hear the car's engine and the soft conversation between Rosalie and Bella.

"30 seconds!" Alice said looking at us with a glimmer in her golden eyes.

Bella was Alice's best friend in so many ways that it was just impossible to describe. Bella and Alice were like two pieces of a puzzle that made a whole picture.

I could smell Bella's distinct freesia like scent and Emmett and Rosalie as well. Their car was only meters away now.

Suddenly Alice jumped up, squealed, and then moments later she ran towards the door opened it and leaped onto Bella. She straddled her across her waist and squeezed her tightly.

Bella looked the same as before. Beautiful like an angel. Her long brown hair and her soft face made her look warm and welcoming. She looked just as sweet as a child. She never lost that air of innocence about her.

Never.

Her innocence was something red eyes could never take away.

Alice began to kiss her long lost sister over and over, on the lips, cheeks, nose, forehead…everywhere her lips could touch.

"Alice…Alice." Bella giggled returning a few kisses.

I missed Bella's sweet voice. It reminded me of what I believed a piano would sound like if it could speak words instead of notes.

Alice chuckled as she replied, "Stop. Stop. I know and I won't."

Emmett and Rosalie walked past their sisters and towards the hallway next to Carlisle and I.

"How was the trip?" My husband asked.

"Wonderful. No humans were killed." Emmett smirked playfully.

It was very rotten to joke like that, but that was Emmett.

"We had to stop for gas." Rosalie said grabbing Emmett's hand.

I was about to ask a question but Alice's voice echoed throughout the house and possibly half of Forks as well.

"I MISSED YOU SO DAMN MUCH!" Alice screamed burying her face into the crevasse of Bella's neck. "It's been so damn lonely."

Carlisle and I took a few steps closer to the girls, but only to remind Alice that we, too, wanted to welcome back our Bella.

"I'm here now." Bella replied smiling towards Carlisle and I.

"For good?" Alice asked.

"Do you see me leaving anytime soon?" She asked.

"Nope!" Alice said popping the p. "And you have no right to ever leave again. I don't care if I go blind. I don't need my visions."

It was a lie. Alice desperately needed her visions but it was a sacrifice she would make. We'd all make the biggest sacrifices to keep Bella with us.

"We've missed you dearly." I said softly.

Alice took the hint and jumped off Bella and cleared the way for Carlisle and I to shower her with affection.

I grabbed Bella into a tight embrace and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Welcome home darling." I said honestly, placing another kiss on her other cheek. I missed my daughter so much. "You were in our thoughts every moment you have been gone."

"I thought of you all, very often." Bella replied sincerely.

"How do you feel Bella?" Carlisle asked as I stepped aside to let Bella hug him.

"I smell humans and they smell good." Bella said bluntly and then added, "But the strawberry smell is helping a lot."

I inhaled and couldn't smell humans, only strawberries, but I wasn't as powerful as the rest of my family.

"They will always smell good." Rosalie said as she leaned her head on Emmett's broad shoulder.

I could tell that Rose broke the ice with Bella, but she still felt uneasy about Bella. Rose did not do well with change and she was still getting used to her new life, but with Emmett holding her hand, I couldn't imagine anything she wouldn't be able to conquer.

My husband smiled sympathetically at Bella and replied, "It's alright. You start classes next week so you have time to get used to the temptations, and if you need more time – all you have to do is ask." I looked at my husband lovingly and from my corner of my eye I caught Alice's eyes twitching from side to side.

She was having a very detailed vision.

"Em!" Alice chirped as her eyes slowly steadied.

"Yo?"

"There's going to be a fight between Mike and…and…" She closed her eyes. "Taylor. Taylor just took Jessica to the movies. Mike will find out tomorrow morning and go looking for Taylor. He will find him during second period outside room 8 in building 2. There will be blood and –" Alice stopped and smiled. "Thank you, Em."

I assumed Emmett made the decision to be there to break up the fight.

I raised such good children. Maybe that's the incorrect term, but I do like to think that I have been like a mother to them; always giving advice and comfort and unconditional love.

I glanced at Rosalie frozen expression and tried to offer her comfort with my eyes. The temptation of blood still tortured her soul violently. She had never slipped up since she arrived in Forks but when she experienced a deep desire for human blood she would go into a very depressive isolated state of mind. I could tell that at those times, she wished she had the ability to cry…heaven knows I did.

But we had Carlisle and Emmett to save us from being consumed by self hatred, and now Alice had Bella to protect.

My family was back together and I couldn't be happier.

I went to hug Bella again.

"Thanks mom." She replied returning the embrace.

Every time my children called me mom it made my spirit soar and it was almost enough to make my dead heart beat again.

"Do you want to go hunting?" Emmett asked.

"Not today. I would like to speak to Carlisle though." Bella said sounding slightly ashamed.

Carlisle nodded knowingly. "Shall we take a walk?"

Bella smiled as she turned to Alice, grabbed her hands and gave her a sweet kiss on the lips.

"Want me to come?" Alice whispered so softly that it sounded like the fluttering wings of a butterfly.

"No, but I know everyone will be eavesdropping." Bella replied loudly.

"So true." Emmett agreed and Rosalie swatted him upside the head. "Sorry." Emmett muttered grabbing Rosalie's hips and pulled her closer to him.

"Don't be long." I said to Bella and Carlisle as they headed out the door. "Alice, why don't you help me practice baking cupcakes for the upcoming P.T.A meeting."

"Can I help?" Emmett asked with childish mischief in his voice.

"NO!" Alice, Rose, and I screamed at the same time.

I did not appreciate opening last year's box of goodies and discovering my cake was shaped like a penis. Thankfully, with my super human speed I was able to reshape the cake into the Eifel tower.

"So what am I suppose to do?" Emmett whined.

I really wished that the house wasn't so estrogen ruled sometimes, so Emmett could have some boys to play with. I had long ago, contemplated buying Emmett a puppy but before I could even consider it further, Alice interrupted me and told me Emmett couldn't be gentle all the time and accidents could happen.

"I'll race you." Rosalie said smirking.

"You're on!" Emmett grinned letting go of her hand.

I smiled…both Rosalie and Emmett were so competitive that they would make everything into a game. Even sex. Who could make who orgasm more...I built them a house a few miles away for those games. Vampire's may not need their sleep but a form of undisturbed rest is appreciated.

"Three." Alice said. "Two." I said. "GO!" Alice squeaked and Emmett and Rosalie disappeared running out the door to who knows where.

"Let's bake!" Alice turned and walked towards the kitchen.

--------

Carlisle PoV

I walked out of the house, human pace, with Bella and my mind strayed to places I wish it wouldn't. I didn't know what occurred in Italy, I just knew that Aro swore that Bella was safe each and every time I called.

Safe…

Aro's definition of safe is something I would love to hear…I'm sure it's similar to the Webster's definition of torture or agony.

Every phone call I made Aro told me Bella came out of her own free will and that if me or any member of my coven were to enter Italy – Bella would be put to death.

I stopped imaging what he put Bella through and cleared my thoughts as best as I could. I could not silence my thoughts but I could bring them to a whisper.

A soft whisper.

Softer than the birds singing 3 miles away.

Soft enough to keep calm.

"Carlisle." Bella spoke and all my senses became alert of her every motion.

"Yes?" I asked calmly as we walked towards our backyard.

I prayed that whatever she would tell me – I would be able to remain calm.

Calm.

That's what I needed to be. Calm, as when I'm performing surgery.

I suppress my initial desire and perform my duty.

Now I have to suppress my desire to kill the Volturi family with my bare hands for hurting my little girl.

Little girl is still how I think of Bella.

I remember the day she walked into the hospital in Connecticut, carrying a basket full of warm cookies for all the patients. When I asked her if her mother sent her, Bella replied no, that she sent herself. She explained that people were lonely in the hospital and she wanted to keep them company. So that's what she did for seven years after that until the Spanish influenza struck her and her family.

"I missed you." Bella's soft voice broke me from my nostalgic memory.

"We missed you as well. We were all very worried." I told her as I pet her head softly.

She turned her head and her red eyes met mine.

I kept calm, my expression remained cool, I reminded myself of forgiveness, she looked away and I stopped coaching myself.

"I need help." Bella said as we walked towards the lake in our backyard.

"I will do my best."

"I want to explain something, and I want you to try to understand that I can't really explain it well."

"Explain it as best as you can."

Bella nodded and we continued walking at the pace of eighty year old humans as she spoke. "I went to Italy on an exchange. You know that part, since I'm sure Rosalie informed you."

I nodded.

"The second part of the deal was that I was to remain as Aro's…ummm…slave?"

I didn't like that word.

"You were to stay as a member of the Volturi." I corrected her.

"I suppose that works better…yes. Anyway, I was to stay with him until he broke me. I mean, what use would he have if he were able to final break me?" She asked me rhetorically.

"You mean, break you, as in read your mind?"

"Yes."

Calm…remain calm.

She continued; "I didn't understand why I couldn't let people harm me with psychic powers or why Aro could never read my mind. I think I have an idea about it but…My thoughts are all over the place and it's hard to articulate correctly." She sighed a useless sigh.

"Say it the best you can."

She nodded and began to speak in our vampire speed, "Jane broke me. I had felt such a jolt of pain in my head. It was like something inside me snapped. It was like a rubber band being stretched too far and giving up and snapping back to its tiny form or maybe even breaking. When she broke me I could not concentrate on anything and I had my eyes closed most of the time. Jane's power is so strong and the pain I felt vibrate through my body last for so long that I lost track of the world around me. But when I was finally able to open my eyes; it was as if I had opened someone else's eyes. Everything was a dozen times brighter…hmmm….maybe not brighter. Here's a metaphor; it's like looking through a window with a net and then looking through the window without the net. My net was gone. I could see things as they really were. Although as I began to heal, I noticed a soft net coming back to me. I tried to control it, and it was very difficult. It looked like a shadow – that net that I controlled. I could cover myself with it and when I covered someone else with it they didn't seem to notice. I think that's like my protective barrier but I was never able to experiment with it."

I nodded taking it all in and immediately asked, "Where is the shadow now?"

"Just around me. I'm scared to place it around my family." She replied defensively.

"Don't worry." I reassured her. "How well can you control your shadow?"

"Pretty well. Like right now it's by the tree over there. I can't stretch it out too far though."

"I understand. Bella, before we go back to this subject I want to ask you, did Aro harm you?"

"It's not Aro's fault at all. It was all my choice. I wanted to go. I asked him to take me in." She said not answering the question.

"Did we push you away?"

"No! NO! Not at all! Please don't think that. Never. Please."

I nodded giving her a gentle smile. "So you're going to stay with your family?" I asked emphasizing the your part in the sentence.

"Yes." She nodded.

"And you understand that you are an important member of this family? You hurt, we hurt."

She hesitated and then nodded the type of nod that told me that what I said were just words to her and they went in one ear and out the other.

Leave it to Bella to feel as though she has to carry the whole world on her shoulders.

"If Alice's visions disappear or if anything happens in school, please know that we act as a family on everything. Bella do not run away from us because it hurts us more than it saves us."

Bella remained silent, so I asked more about her newly discovered information on her power.

"What does it feel like when you stretch your shadow?"

"Like an elastic pull. Remember the hero elastic man and how he could stretch his limbs, I feel like I could do the same but these limbs are invisible."

"Would you be willing to experiment with it?"

"Not on you guys." Bella said sternly as we reached the tip of the lake.

"You said you tried it on vampires in Italy and it didn't harm them." I reassured her.

"But you're my family. What if something goes wrong?" She asked.

"If my theory is correct, you have been using your shadow unknowingly since you turned into a vampire. Through the ages, it became stronger and stronger and expanded further and further which is why Alice became blind. Her power is psychic and you covered her, subconsciously trying to protect her. It could also be that maybe Alice's eyes weren't covered but instead you covered the people of forks and Alice could not see those within the shadow. There are a few other possibilities but we won't know for sure unless you experiment. There is just so much that I'm unsure of when it comes to your ability."

"I can't. Aro broke me; no one else will come after us."

"What about rogue vampires in America? I do not want to scare you but I want you to be prepared. I want us all to be prepared because we are a family and we protect one another."

"Carlisle, do you truly believe that?"

"Yes. Yes I do."

"Alright, then I'll try to believe it too. I don't want to experiment, though."

"Bella, I will never force you to do anything." I said softly staring out into the orange sunset reflection in the lake.

"I heard there's a vampire coven battle in South America." Bella muttered.

I nodded.

We watched the sun set and darkness engulf us.

"Promise to be around when I try to cover someone with my shadow?" Bella asked me coyly.

"Promise." I replied sternly.

"Okay then." She looked out into the water with me.

She was still ten years old.

A girl with a basket full of cookies to feed the world so it doesn't starve.

* * *

**A/N**: Thank you for reading! I hope you liked!

Review and make me happy! I'll try to update once to a few times a week from now on. Thank you again! Love all of my readers to death!


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